People are always talking about the dreams that they have. Not just the dreams that they have when they sleep, but the dreams they have when they are awake. Most of these dreams have to do with what they want the future to bring. They dream about careers, marriages, kids, life long plans, traveling, and so much more. Some dream these dreams for others and others dream them for themselves. And then there are those who dream the dreams for the world. They dream of a better place and of amazing wonders to come. But whatever they are dreaming for and whoever they are dreaming for, the point is that they dream. And not just that they dream, but that they dream with their eyes wide open.
I once heard a quote that states this "Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they may act their dreams with eyes wide open and make it possible." The dreamers of the day, the ones who dare to dream with their eyes wide open, are the ones who have the potential to make great things happen. The real forces to watch out for though, are those who not only dare to dream, but they are those who also dare to act. For it is only those who act on their dreams that get to watch them and experience them becoming a reality.
Now I haven't been the most avid dreamer. Don't get me worng, growing up I thought about where I wanted to head and what I wanted to have some day, but I also just lived my life and enjoyed it along the way. I was never waiting for a dream to come true to be happy, but I did dream. And over the last year or so I have looked around and realized that I am living my dream.
I don't know how many people can say that. Maybe it means that I didn't dream big enough or maybe it means my dreams were pretty easy to accomplish. I don't know. But the point is that, whether you think them to be big or small, I am living my dreams. Are they excatly how I thought they would be? No. But do I enjoy them just the same? Yes.
Growing up I had dreams of graduating from college, having a job I liked, working with kids, singing in a choir, going to the temple, having friends I loved, and so much more. I never really made plans or set goals as to how I was going to accomplish any of those dreams. I realized recently that I am not really the goal setting type. I am more of the living life at the moment type. But recently there have been days that I have stopped and looked around and realized all that I had accomplished and all the dreams that I was living. I have graduated from the U of U, I currently work with kids of all ages and I enjoying going to work each day. I can say that I like my job. I have been through the temple and it was one of the best things I have ever done and I have great friends that I truly love and love to be with.
All of the dreams that I am living are not what I thought they would be. The life I am living now is not the dame as the one I dreamed about in my head. But the point is, that I am living my dreams. I am just living them in a whole new way. A way that I didn't think about until it was happening. But also a way that I can say I am loving and is so much more suited to who I am then my ideas could ever have been. I never thought that I would be working at the Sylvan Learning Center, I never thought that I would get endowed without getting married right after, I never thought that I would graduate from college and not know what to do next, I never really thought that I would have as many people as I do that I can call my friends. And even though I never thought of my dreams turning out this way, I can honestly say that I am living my dreams and that I am loving it. I love the way my life is turning out and I kind of love who I am. OK, I really love who I am. Just sayin.
Now, I know I am not perfect in anyway. You could probably spend less time counting the blades on grass in a park then counting and adding up all of my flaws. And I also now that my life is not the perfect dream. But my life is perfect for me and it is perfect for me to continue to learn and grow in and I love who I am getting the chance to be and become. So the next question would be what do you do when you realize you are living your dreams and loving them? I will tell you......you dream again. You open your mind up and dream with your eyes open. You ask yourself "what to do now?" and then you take the time to answer. And then, once you start having the new dream, do you know what you do?...... You act on it. You take that first step to accomplishing it and then you run with it from there and if it happens to crash and burn in the middle, so what, you get yourself back up and run again. Then one day you will stop and look around and realize that you are living that dream too and it will feel good. So go ahead. Dream. Dream with your eyes wide open and then dare to act. " For it is not enough to stare up the steps-we must step up the stairs."
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Something Worth Waiting For
Growing up in the LDS church I have been taught from day one about the best ways to live and what to live for. I have grown up learning about faith, repentance, forgiveness, prayer, the atonement, temples, and so much more. The gospel has always been a part of my life and has always brought me great joy with the knowledge and peace that it brings.
As I have gotten older I have learned more in depth about the topics of the gospel and things have brought on new meanings. As I have grown, experiences, and learned more the gospel has grown to mean more to me as well. Being in a singles ward brings on new meanings to things as well. Some of them are great and help make me stronger and some of them just become awkward. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being in the singles ward and have since I joined one about 4 years ago. It is great being in a place where there are a lot of people in your same situation and is is great having the responsibility to help run the ward in ways we wouldn't if we were in family wards. In my wards I have had great learning experiences from the lessons that have been taught. But, being that it is a singles ward there are some principals that get a bit more focus then others and can sometimes become awkward to sit through in a lesson.
A couple of weeks ago my ward had one of these awkward lessons. It was a combined meeting with relief society and priesthood and the topic of the lessons was chastity. Which is a good topic considering the day and age of where we are at as singles. But, the way it was presented was not good at all. The lesson quickly became awkward for all present and then went downhill from there with continued awkwardness.
After talking to people in my ward after the lesson was given I found that most of us felt the same way. We all felt a little embarrassed and weirded out. We were all talking and agreed that at our age we already know most of the facts of the basics. We have been taught throughout our lives what to do and what not to do. We know the basics already. Now we want to know the why behind the basics. We want to know why it matters and what it means for us to follow the principals and teachings that we have grown up with. We want to get into the gospel at a deeper level and learn more from the scriptures and the prophets of old and new. We want the bigger picture and are ready to learn and grow in new ways.
After talking about this for awhile, my friend brought up a talk that had been sent to her to read. She said it was about chastity and it explained things in a way that she had never thought about before. She then forwarded me the link and after reading it and felt more inspired to do right and to live right then I had in awhile. The talk is by Jeffery R. Holland and was given years ago at a BYU conference, but still holds true today. In it he explains the why behind the law of chastity and what it truly means to us. It in no way made me fell awkward, but instead made me feel uplifted and more valuable then I thought I was. I have always been taught that those type of relationships are something you should wait for for marriage and I have always believed it to be true and have tried to live my life accordingly. But now I know it is something worth waiting for and something that I will always strive to live for. I will gladly wait forever if this is the type of relationship that I can have one day. Here is the talk and I hope you enjoy it and learn from it something new.
Jeffrey R. Holland was president of Brigham Young University when this devotional address was delivered on 12 January 1988 in the Marriott Center.
This responsibility to speak to you never gets any easier for me. I think it gets more difficult as the years go by. I grow a little older, the world and its litany of problems get a little more complex, and your hopes and dreams become evermore important to me the longer I am at BYU. Indeed, your growth and happiness and development in the life you are now living and in the life you will be living in the days and decades ahead are the central and most compelling motivation in my daily professional life. I care very much about you now and forever. Everything I know to do at BYU is being done with an eye toward who and what you are, and who and what you can become. The future of this world's history will be quite fully in your hands very soon--at least your portion of it will be--and an education at an institution sponsored and guided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the greatest academic advantage I can imagine in preparation for such a serious and significant responsibility.
But that future, at least any qualitative aspect of it, must be vigorously fought for. It won't "just happen" to your advantage. Someone said once that the future is waiting to be seized, and if we do not grasp it firmly, then other hands, more determined and bloody than our own, will wrench it from us and follow a different course.
It is with an eye to that future--your future--and an awareness of this immense sense of responsibility I feel for you, that I approach this annual midyear devotional message. I always need the help and sustaining Spirit of the Lord to succeed at such times, but I especially feel the need for that spiritual help today.
You may feel this is a topic you hear addressed too frequently at this time in your life, but given the world in which we live, you may not be hearing it enough. All of the prophets, past and present, have spoken on it, and President Benson himself addressed this very subject in his annual message to this student body last fall.
I am thrilled that most of you are doing wonderfully well in the matter of personal purity. There isn't as worthy and faithful a group of university students anywhere else on the face of the earth. You are an inspiration to me. I acknowledge your devotion to the gospel and applaud it. Like Jacob of old, I would prefer for the sake of the innocent not to need to discuss such topics. But a few of you are not doing so well, and much of the world around us is not doing well at all.
The national press recently noted,
In America 3,000 adolescents become pregnant each day. A million a year. Four out of five are unmarried. More than half get abortions. "Babies having babies."[Babies] killing [babies]. ["What's Gone Wrong with Teen Sex," People,13 April 1987, p. 111]
That same national poll indicated nearly 60 percent of high school students in "mainstream" America had lost their virginity, and 80 percent of college students had. The Wall Street Journal (hardly in a class with the National Enquirer) recently wrote,
AIDS [appears to be reaching] plague[like] proportions. Even now it is claiming innocent victims: newborn babies and recipients of blood transfusions. It is only a matter of time before it becomes widespread among heterosexuals. . . .
AIDS should remind us that ours is a hostile world. . . . The more we pass ourselves around, the larger the likelihood of our picking something up. . . .
Whether on clinical or moral grounds, it seems clear that promiscuity has its price. [Wall Street Journal, 21 May 1987, p. 28]
Of course, more widespread in our society than the indulgence of personal sexual activity are the printed and photographed descriptions of those who do. Of that lustful environment a contemporary observer says,
We live in an age in which voyeurism is no longer the side line of the solitary deviate, but rather a national pastime, fully institutionalized and [circularized] in the mass media. [William F. May, quoted by Henry Fairlie, The Seven Deadly Sins Today (Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1978), p. 178]
In fact, the rise of civilization seems, ironically enough, to have made actual or fantasized promiscuity a greater, not a lesser, problem. Edward Gibbon, the distinguished British historian of the eighteenth century who wrote one of the most intimidating works of history in our language (The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire), said simply,
Although the progress of civilisation has undoubtedly contributed to assuage the fiercer passions of human nature, it seems to have been less favourable to the virtue of chastity. . . . The refinements of life [seem to] corrupt, [even as] they polish the [relationship] of the sexes. [Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, vol. 40 of Great Books of the Western World, 1952, p. 92]
I do not wish us to spend this hour documenting social problems nor wringing our hands over the dangers that such outside influences may hold for us. As serious as such contemporary realities are, I wish to discuss this topic in quite a different way, discuss it specifically for Latter-day Saints--primarily young, unmarried Latter-day Saints, even those attending Brigham Young University. So I conspicuously set aside the horrors of AIDS and national statistics on illegitimate pregnancies and speak rather to a gospel-based view of personal purity.
Indeed, I wish to do something even a bit more difficult than listing the do's and don'ts of personal purity. I wish to speak, to the best of my ability, on why we should be clean, on why moral discipline is such a significant matter in God's eyes. I know that may sound presumptuous, but a philosopher once said, tell me sufficiently why a thing should be done, and I will move heaven and earth to do it. Hoping you will feel the same way as he and fully recognizing my limitations, I wish to try to give at least a partial answer to "Why be morally clean?" I will need first to pose briefly what I see as the doctrinal seriousness of the matter before then offering just three reasons for such seriousness.
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
A second, less poetic but more specific opinion is offered by the writer of Proverbs:
Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? . . .
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. [Proverbs 6:27-33]
In getting at the doctrinal seriousness, why is this matter of sexual relationships so severe that fire is almost always the metaphor, with passion pictured vividly in flames? What is there in the potentially hurtful heat of this that leaves one's soul--or perhaps the whole world, according to Frost--destroyed, if that flame is left unchecked and those passions unrestrained? What is there in all of this that prompts Alma to warn his son Corianton that sexual transgression is "an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost" (Alma 39:5; emphasis added)?
Setting aside sins against the Holy Ghost for a moment as a special category unto themselves, it is LDS doctrine that sexual transgression is second only to murder in the Lord's list of life's most serious sins. By assigning such rank to a physical appetite so conspicuously evident in all of us, what is God trying to tell us about its place in his plan for all men and women in mortality? I submit to you he is doing precisely that--commenting about the very plan of life itself. Clearly God's greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out of it. These two most important issues in our very personal and carefully supervised progress are the two issues that he as our Creator and Father and Guide wishes most to reserve to himself. These are the two matters that he has repeatedly told us he wants us never to take illegally, illicitly, unfaithfully, without sanction.
As for the taking of life, we are generally quite responsible. Most people, it seems to me, readily sense the sanctity of life and as a rule do not run up to friends, put a loaded revolver to their heads, and cavalierly pull the trigger. Furthermore, when there is a click of the hammer rather than an explosion of lead, and a possible tragedy seems to have been averted, no one in such a circumstance would be so stupid as to sigh, "Oh, good. I didn't go all the way."
No, "all the way" or not, the insanity of such action with fatal powder and steel is obvious on the face of it. Such a person running about this campus with an arsenal of loaded handguns or military weaponry aimed at fellow students would be apprehended, prosecuted, and institutionalized if in fact such a lunatic would not himself have been killed in all the pandemonium. After such a fictitious moment of horror on this campus (and you are too young to remember my college years when the sniper wasn't fictitious, killing twelve of his fellow students at the University of Texas), we would undoubtedly sit in our dorms or classrooms with terror on our minds for many months to come, wondering how such a thing could possibly happen--especially here at BYU.
No, fortunately, in the case of how life is taken, I think we seem to be quite responsible. The seriousness of that does not often have to be spelled out, and not many sermons need to be devoted to it.
But in the significance and sanctity of giving life, some of us are not so responsible, and in the larger world swirling around us we find near criminal irresponsibility. What would in the case of taking life bring absolute horror and demand grim justice, in the case of giving life brings dirty jokes and four-letter lyrics and crass carnality on the silver screen, home-owned or downtown.
Is such moral turpitude so wrong? That question has always been asked, usually by the guilty. "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness" (Proverbs 30:20). No murder here. Well, maybe not. But sexual transgression? "He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul." Sounds near fatal to me.
So much for the doctrinal seriousness. Now, with a desire to prevent such painful moments, to avoid what Alma called the "inexpressible horror" of standing in the presence of God unworthily, and to permit the intimacy it is your right and privilege and delight to enjoy in marriage to be untainted by such crushing remorse and guilt--I wish to give those three reasons I mentioned earlier as to why I believe this is an issue of such magnitude and consequence.
May I quote a 1913 sermon by Elder James E. Talmage on this doctrinal point:
We have been taught . . . to look upon these bodies of ours as gifts from God. We Latter-day Saints do not regard the body as something to be condemned, something to be abhorred. . . . We regard [the body] as the sign of our royal birthright. . . . We recognize . . . that those who kept not their first estate . . . were denied that inestimable blessing. . . . We believe that these bodies . . . may be made, in very truth, the temple of the Holy Ghost. . . .
It is peculiar to the theology of the Latter-day Saints that we regard the body as an essential part of the soul. Read your dictionaries, the lexicons, and encyclopedias, and you will find that nowhere [in Christianity], outside of the Church of Jesus Christ, is the solemn and eternal truth taught that the soul of man is the body and the spirit combined. [CR, October 1913, p. 117]
So partly in answer to why such seriousness, we answer that one toying with the God-given--and satanically coveted--body of another, toys with the very soul of that individual, toys with the central purpose and product of life, "the very key" to life, as Elder Boyd K. Packer once called it. In trivializing the soul of another (please include the word body there), we trivialize the Atonement that saved that soul and guaranteed its continued existence. And when one toys with the Son of Righteousness, the Day Star himself, one toys with white heat and a flame hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned. You cannot with impunity "crucify Christ afresh" (see Hebrews 6:6). Exploitation of the body (please include the word soul there) is, in the last analysis, an exploitation of him who is the Light and the Life of the world. Perhaps here Paul's warning to the Corinthians takes on newer, higher meaning:
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. . . .
Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. . . .
Flee fornication. . . . He that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. . . .
. . . Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. [1 Corinthians 6:13-20; emphasis added]
Our soul is what's at stake here--our spirit and our body. Paul understood that doctrine of the soul every bit as well as James E. Talmage did, because it is gospel truth. The purchase price for our fullness of joy--body and spirit eternally united--is the pure and innocent blood of the Savior of this world. We cannot then say in ignorance or defiance, "Well, it's my life," or worse yet, "It's my body." It is not. "Ye are not your own," Paul said. "Ye are bought with a price." So in answer to the question, "Why does God care so much about sexual transgression?" it is partly because of the precious gift offered by and through his Only Begotten Son to redeem the souls--bodies and spirits--we too often share and abuse in cheap and tawdry ways. Christ restored the very seeds of eternal lives (see D&C132:19, 24), and we desecrate them at our peril. The first key reason for personal purity? Our very souls are involved and at stake.
But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise.
As delicate as it is to mention in such a setting, I nevertheless trust your maturity to understand that physiologically we are created as men and women to fit together in such a union. In this ultimate physical expression of one man and one woman they are as nearly and as literally "one" as two separate physical bodies can ever be. It is in that act of ultimate physical intimacy we most nearly fulfill the commandment of the Lord given to Adam and Eve, living symbols for all married couples, when he invited them to cleave unto one another only, and thus become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
Obviously, such a commandment to these two, the first husband and wife of the human family, has unlimited implications--social, cultural, and religious as well as physical--but that is exactly my point. As all couples come to that moment of bonding in mortality, it is to be just such a complete union. That commandment cannot be fulfilled, and that symbolism of "one flesh" cannot be preserved, if we hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously share intimacy in a darkened corner of a darkened hour, then just as hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously retreat to our separate worlds--not to eat or live or cry or laugh together, not to do the laundry and the dishes and the homework, not to manage a budget and pay the bills and tend the children and plan together for the future. No, we cannot do that until we are truly one--united, bound, linked, tied, welded, sealed, married.
Can you see then the moral schizophrenia that comes from pretending we are one, sharing the physical symbols and physical intimacy of our union, but then fleeing, retreating, severing all such other aspects--and symbols--of what was meant to be a total obligation, only to unite again furtively some other night or, worse yet, furtively unite (and you can tell how cynically I use that word) with some other partner who is no more bound to us, no more one with us than the last was or than the one that will come next week or next month or next year or anytime before the binding commitments of marriage?
You must wait--you must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are at least legally and, for Latter-day Saint purposes, eternally pronounced as one. To give illicitly that which is not yours to give (remember--"you are not your own") and to give only part of that which cannot be followed with the gift of your whole heart and your whole life and your whole self is its own form of emotional Russian roulette. If you persist in sharing part without the whole, in pursuing satisfaction devoid of symbolism, in giving parts and pieces and inflamed fragments only, you run the terrible risk of such spiritual, psychic damage that you may undermine both your physical intimacy and your wholehearted devotion to a truer, later love. You may come to that moment of real love, of total union, only to discover to your horror that what you should have saved has been spent, and--mark my words--only God's grace can recover that piecemeal dissipation of your virtue.
A good Latter-day Saint friend, Dr. Victor L. Brown, Jr., has written of this issue:
Fragmentation enables its users to counterfeit intimacy. . . .
If we relate to each other in fragments, at best we miss full relationships. At worst, we manipulate and exploit others for our gratification. Sexual fragmentation can be particularly harmful because it gives powerful physiological rewards which, though illusory, can temporarily persuade us to overlook the serious deficits in the overall relationship. Two people may marry for physical gratification and then discover that the illusion of union collapses under the weight of intellectual, social, and spiritual incompatibilities. . . .
Sexual fragmentation is particularly harmful because it is particularly deceptive. The intense human intimacy that should be enjoyed in and symbolized by sexual union is counterfeited by sensual episodes which suggest--but cannot deliver--acceptance, understanding, and love. Such encounters mistake the end for the means as lonely, desperate people seek a common denominator which will permit the easiest, quickest gratification. [Victor L. Brown, Jr., Human Intimacy: Illusion and Reality (Salt Lake City, Utah: Parliament Publishers, 1981), pp. 5-6]
Listen to a far more biting observation by a non-Latter-day Saint regarding such acts devoid of both the soul and symbolism we have been discussing. He writes:
Our sexuality has been animalized, stripped of the intricacy of feeling with which human beings have endowed it, leaving us to contemplate only the act, and to fear our impotence in it. It is this animalization from which the sexual manuals cannot escape, even when they try to do so, because they are reflections of it. They might [as well] be textbooks for veterinarians. [Fairlie, Seven Deadly Sins, p. 182]
In this matter of counterfeit intimacy and deceptive gratification, I express particular caution to the men who hear this message. I have heard all my life that it is the young woman who has to assume the responsibility for controlling the limits of intimacy in courtship because a young man cannot. What an unacceptable response to such a serious issue! What kind of man is he, what priesthood or power or strength or self-control does this man have that lets him develop in society, grow to the age of mature accountability, perhaps even pursue a university education and prepare to affect the future of colleagues and kingdoms and the course of the world, but yet does not have the mental capacity or the moral will to say, "I will not do that thing"? No, this sorry drugstore psychology would have us say, "He just can't help himself. His glands have complete control over his life--his mind, his will, his entire future."
To say that a young woman in such a relationship has to bear her responsibility and that of the young man's too is the least fair assertion I can imagine. In most instances if there is sexual transgression, I lay the burden squarely on the shoulders of the young man--for our purposes probably a priesthood bearer--and that's where I believe God intended responsibility to be. In saying that I do not excuse young women who exercise no restraint and have not the character or conviction to demand intimacy only in its rightful role. I have had enough experience in Church callings to know that women as well as men can be predatory. But I refuse to buy some young man's feigned innocence who wants to sin and call it psychology.
Indeed, most tragically, it is the young woman who is most often the victim, it is the young woman who most often suffers the greater pain, it is the young woman who most often feels used and abused and terribly unclean. And for that imposed uncleanliness a man will pay, as surely as the sun sets and rivers run to the sea.
Note the prophet Jacob's straightforward language on this account in the Book of Mormon. After a bold confrontation on the subject of sexual transgression among the Nephites, he quotes Jehovah:
For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land. . . .
And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people . . . shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.
For they shall not lead away captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse, even unto destruction. [Jacob 2:31-33; emphasis added]
Don't be deceived and don't be destroyed. Unless such fire is controlled, your clothes and your future will be burned. And your world, short of painful and perfect repentance, will go up in flames. I give that to you on good word--I give it to you on God's word.
In this latter sense, human intimacy is a sacrament, a very special kind of symbol. For our purpose here today, a sacrament could be any one of a number of gestures or acts or ordinances that unite us with God and his limitless powers. We are imperfect and mortal; he is perfect and immortal. But from time to time--indeed, as often as is possible and appropriate--we find ways and go to places and create circumstances where we can unite symbolically with him, and in so doing gain access to his power. Those special moments of union with God are sacramental moments--such as kneeling at a marriage altar, or blessing a newborn baby, or partaking of the emblems of the Lord's supper. This latter ordinance is the one we in the Church have come to associate most traditionally with the word sacrament, though it is technically only one of many such moments when we formally take the hand of God and feel his divine power.
These are moments when we quite literally unite our will with God's will, our spirit with his spirit, where communion through the veil becomes very real. At such moments we not only acknowledge his divinity, but we quite literally take something of that divinity to ourselves. Such are the holy sacraments.
Now, once again, I know of no one who would, for example, rush into the middle of a sacramental service, grab the linen from the tables, throw the bread the full length of the room, tip the water trays onto the floor, and laughingly retreat from the building to await an opportunity to do the same thing at another worship service the next Sunday. No one within the sound of my voice would do that during one of the truly sacred moments of our religious worship. Nor would anyone here violate any of the other sacramental moments in our lives, those times when we consciously claim God's power and by invitation stand with him in privilege and principality.
But I wish to stress with you this morning, as my third of three reasons to be clean, that sexual union is also, in its own profound way, a very real sacrament of the highest order, a union not only of a man and a woman but very much the union of that man and woman with God. Indeed, if our definition of sacrament is that act of claiming and sharing and exercising God's own inestimable power, then I know of virtually no other divine privilege so routinely given to us all--women or men, ordained or unordained, Latter-day Saint or non-Latter-day Saint--than the miraculous and majestic power of transmitting life, the unspeakable, unfathomable, unbroken power of procreation. There are those special moments in your lives when the other, more formal ordinances of the gospel--the sacraments, if you will--allow you to feel the grace and grandeur of God's power. Many are one-time experiences (such as our own confirmation or our own marriage), and some are repeatable (such as administering to the sick or doing ordinance work for others in the temple). But I know of nothing so earth-shatteringly powerful and yet so universally and unstintingly given to us as the God-given power available in every one of us from our early teen years on to create a human body, that wonder of all wonders, a genetically and spiritually unique being never seen before in the history of the world and never to be duplicated again in all the ages of eternity--a child, your child--with eyes and ears and fingers and toes and a future of unspeakable grandeur.
Imagine that, if you will. Veritable teenagers--and all of us for many decades thereafter--carrying daily, hourly, minute-to-minute, virtually every waking and sleeping moment of our lives, the power and the chemistry and the eternally transmitted seeds of life to grant someone else her second estate, someone else his next level of development in the divine plan of salvation. I submit to you that no power, priesthood or otherwise, is given by God so universally to so many with virtually no control over its use except self-control. And I submit to you that you will never be more like God at any other time in this life than when you are expressing that particular power. Of all the titles he has chosen for himself, Father is the one he declares, and Creation is his watchword--especially human creation, creation in his image. His glory isn't a mountain, as stunning as mountains are. It isn't in sea or sky or snow or sunrise, as beautiful as they all are. It isn't in art or technology, be that a concerto or computer. No, his glory--and his grief--is in his children. You and I, we are his prized possessions, and we are the earthly evidence, however inadequate, of what he truly is. Human life--that is the greatest of God's powers, the most mysterious and magnificent chemistry of it all--and you and I have been given it, but under the most serious and sacred of restrictions. You and I who can make neither mountain nor moonlight, not one raindrop nor a single rose--yet we have this greater gift in an absolutely unlimited way. And the only control placed on us is self-control--self-control born of respect for the divine sacramental power it is.
Surely God's trust in us to respect this future-forming gift is awesomely staggering. We who may not be able to repair a bicycle nor assemble an average jigsaw puzzle--yet with all our weaknesses and imperfections, we carry this procreative power that makes us very much like God in at least one grand and majestic way.
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
In closing, consider this from two students of civilization's long, instructive story:
No one man [or woman], however brilliant or well-informed, can come in one lifetime to such fullness of understanding as to safely judge and dismiss the customs or institutions of his society, for these are the wisdom of generations after centuries of experiment in the laboratory of history. A youth boiling with hormones will wonder why he should not give full freedom to his sexual desires; and if he is unchecked by custom, morals, or laws, he may ruin his life [or hers] before he matures sufficiently to understand that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints if it is not to consume in chaos both the individual and the group. [Will and Ariel Durant, The Lessons of History (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1968), pp. 35-36]
Or, in the more ecclesiastical words of James E. Talmage:
It has been declared in the solemn word of revelation, that the spirit and the body constitute the soul of man; and, therefore, we should look upon this body as something that shall endure in the resurrected state, beyond the grave, something to be kept pure and holy. Be not afraid of soiling its hands; be not afraid of scars that may come to it if won in earnest effort, or [won] in honest fight, but beware of scars that disfigure, that have come to you in places where you ought not have gone, that have befallen you in unworthy undertakings [pursued where you ought not have been]; beware of the wounds of battles in which you have been fighting on the wrong side. [Talmage, CR, October 1913, p. 117]
I love you for wanting to be on the right side of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I express my pride in and appreciation for your faithfulness. As I said earlier, you are an absolute inspiration to me. I consider it the greatest of all professional privileges to be associated with you at this university at a time in your lives when you are finalizing what you believe and forging what your future will be.
If some few of you are feeling the "scars . . . that have come to you in places where you ought not have gone," I wish to extend to you the special peace and promise available through the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. I testify of his love and of the restored gospel principles and ordinances which make that love available to us with all their cleansing and healing power. I testify of the power of these principles and ordinances, including complete and redeeming repentance, which are only fully realized in this the true and living church of the true and living God. That we may "come unto Christ" for the fullness of soul and symbol and sacrament he offers us, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
As I have gotten older I have learned more in depth about the topics of the gospel and things have brought on new meanings. As I have grown, experiences, and learned more the gospel has grown to mean more to me as well. Being in a singles ward brings on new meanings to things as well. Some of them are great and help make me stronger and some of them just become awkward. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being in the singles ward and have since I joined one about 4 years ago. It is great being in a place where there are a lot of people in your same situation and is is great having the responsibility to help run the ward in ways we wouldn't if we were in family wards. In my wards I have had great learning experiences from the lessons that have been taught. But, being that it is a singles ward there are some principals that get a bit more focus then others and can sometimes become awkward to sit through in a lesson.
A couple of weeks ago my ward had one of these awkward lessons. It was a combined meeting with relief society and priesthood and the topic of the lessons was chastity. Which is a good topic considering the day and age of where we are at as singles. But, the way it was presented was not good at all. The lesson quickly became awkward for all present and then went downhill from there with continued awkwardness.
After talking to people in my ward after the lesson was given I found that most of us felt the same way. We all felt a little embarrassed and weirded out. We were all talking and agreed that at our age we already know most of the facts of the basics. We have been taught throughout our lives what to do and what not to do. We know the basics already. Now we want to know the why behind the basics. We want to know why it matters and what it means for us to follow the principals and teachings that we have grown up with. We want to get into the gospel at a deeper level and learn more from the scriptures and the prophets of old and new. We want the bigger picture and are ready to learn and grow in new ways.
After talking about this for awhile, my friend brought up a talk that had been sent to her to read. She said it was about chastity and it explained things in a way that she had never thought about before. She then forwarded me the link and after reading it and felt more inspired to do right and to live right then I had in awhile. The talk is by Jeffery R. Holland and was given years ago at a BYU conference, but still holds true today. In it he explains the why behind the law of chastity and what it truly means to us. It in no way made me fell awkward, but instead made me feel uplifted and more valuable then I thought I was. I have always been taught that those type of relationships are something you should wait for for marriage and I have always believed it to be true and have tried to live my life accordingly. But now I know it is something worth waiting for and something that I will always strive to live for. I will gladly wait forever if this is the type of relationship that I can have one day. Here is the talk and I hope you enjoy it and learn from it something new.
Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments
by Jeffrey R. HollandJeffrey R. Holland was president of Brigham Young University when this devotional address was delivered on 12 January 1988 in the Marriott Center.
©1989 by Brigham Young University. All rights reserved.
For further information write Speeches, 218 University Press Building, Provo, Utah 84602.
(801) 378-4711
E-mail:speeches@byu.edu
For further information write Speeches, 218 University Press Building, Provo, Utah 84602.
(801) 378-4711
E-mail:speeches@byu.edu
This responsibility to speak to you never gets any easier for me. I think it gets more difficult as the years go by. I grow a little older, the world and its litany of problems get a little more complex, and your hopes and dreams become evermore important to me the longer I am at BYU. Indeed, your growth and happiness and development in the life you are now living and in the life you will be living in the days and decades ahead are the central and most compelling motivation in my daily professional life. I care very much about you now and forever. Everything I know to do at BYU is being done with an eye toward who and what you are, and who and what you can become. The future of this world's history will be quite fully in your hands very soon--at least your portion of it will be--and an education at an institution sponsored and guided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the greatest academic advantage I can imagine in preparation for such a serious and significant responsibility.
But that future, at least any qualitative aspect of it, must be vigorously fought for. It won't "just happen" to your advantage. Someone said once that the future is waiting to be seized, and if we do not grasp it firmly, then other hands, more determined and bloody than our own, will wrench it from us and follow a different course.
It is with an eye to that future--your future--and an awareness of this immense sense of responsibility I feel for you, that I approach this annual midyear devotional message. I always need the help and sustaining Spirit of the Lord to succeed at such times, but I especially feel the need for that spiritual help today.
Human Intimacy
My topic is that of human intimacy, a topic as sacred as any I know and more sacred than anything I have ever addressed from this podium. If I am not careful and you are not supportive, this subject can slide quickly from the sacred into the merely sensational, and I would be devastated if that happened. It would be better not to address the topic at all than to damage it with casualness or carelessness. Indeed, it is against such casualness and carelessness that I wish to speak. So I ask for your faith and your prayers and your respect.You may feel this is a topic you hear addressed too frequently at this time in your life, but given the world in which we live, you may not be hearing it enough. All of the prophets, past and present, have spoken on it, and President Benson himself addressed this very subject in his annual message to this student body last fall.
I am thrilled that most of you are doing wonderfully well in the matter of personal purity. There isn't as worthy and faithful a group of university students anywhere else on the face of the earth. You are an inspiration to me. I acknowledge your devotion to the gospel and applaud it. Like Jacob of old, I would prefer for the sake of the innocent not to need to discuss such topics. But a few of you are not doing so well, and much of the world around us is not doing well at all.
The national press recently noted,
In America 3,000 adolescents become pregnant each day. A million a year. Four out of five are unmarried. More than half get abortions. "Babies having babies."[Babies] killing [babies]. ["What's Gone Wrong with Teen Sex," People,13 April 1987, p. 111]
That same national poll indicated nearly 60 percent of high school students in "mainstream" America had lost their virginity, and 80 percent of college students had. The Wall Street Journal (hardly in a class with the National Enquirer) recently wrote,
AIDS [appears to be reaching] plague[like] proportions. Even now it is claiming innocent victims: newborn babies and recipients of blood transfusions. It is only a matter of time before it becomes widespread among heterosexuals. . . .
AIDS should remind us that ours is a hostile world. . . . The more we pass ourselves around, the larger the likelihood of our picking something up. . . .
Whether on clinical or moral grounds, it seems clear that promiscuity has its price. [Wall Street Journal, 21 May 1987, p. 28]
Of course, more widespread in our society than the indulgence of personal sexual activity are the printed and photographed descriptions of those who do. Of that lustful environment a contemporary observer says,
We live in an age in which voyeurism is no longer the side line of the solitary deviate, but rather a national pastime, fully institutionalized and [circularized] in the mass media. [William F. May, quoted by Henry Fairlie, The Seven Deadly Sins Today (Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1978), p. 178]
In fact, the rise of civilization seems, ironically enough, to have made actual or fantasized promiscuity a greater, not a lesser, problem. Edward Gibbon, the distinguished British historian of the eighteenth century who wrote one of the most intimidating works of history in our language (The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire), said simply,
Although the progress of civilisation has undoubtedly contributed to assuage the fiercer passions of human nature, it seems to have been less favourable to the virtue of chastity. . . . The refinements of life [seem to] corrupt, [even as] they polish the [relationship] of the sexes. [Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, vol. 40 of Great Books of the Western World, 1952, p. 92]
I do not wish us to spend this hour documenting social problems nor wringing our hands over the dangers that such outside influences may hold for us. As serious as such contemporary realities are, I wish to discuss this topic in quite a different way, discuss it specifically for Latter-day Saints--primarily young, unmarried Latter-day Saints, even those attending Brigham Young University. So I conspicuously set aside the horrors of AIDS and national statistics on illegitimate pregnancies and speak rather to a gospel-based view of personal purity.
Indeed, I wish to do something even a bit more difficult than listing the do's and don'ts of personal purity. I wish to speak, to the best of my ability, on why we should be clean, on why moral discipline is such a significant matter in God's eyes. I know that may sound presumptuous, but a philosopher once said, tell me sufficiently why a thing should be done, and I will move heaven and earth to do it. Hoping you will feel the same way as he and fully recognizing my limitations, I wish to try to give at least a partial answer to "Why be morally clean?" I will need first to pose briefly what I see as the doctrinal seriousness of the matter before then offering just three reasons for such seriousness.
The Significance and Sanctity
May I begin with half of a nine-line poem by Robert Frost. (The other half is worth a sermon also, but it will have to wait for another day.) Here are the first four lines of Frost's "Fire and Ice."Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
A second, less poetic but more specific opinion is offered by the writer of Proverbs:
Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? . . .
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. [Proverbs 6:27-33]
In getting at the doctrinal seriousness, why is this matter of sexual relationships so severe that fire is almost always the metaphor, with passion pictured vividly in flames? What is there in the potentially hurtful heat of this that leaves one's soul--or perhaps the whole world, according to Frost--destroyed, if that flame is left unchecked and those passions unrestrained? What is there in all of this that prompts Alma to warn his son Corianton that sexual transgression is "an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost" (Alma 39:5; emphasis added)?
Setting aside sins against the Holy Ghost for a moment as a special category unto themselves, it is LDS doctrine that sexual transgression is second only to murder in the Lord's list of life's most serious sins. By assigning such rank to a physical appetite so conspicuously evident in all of us, what is God trying to tell us about its place in his plan for all men and women in mortality? I submit to you he is doing precisely that--commenting about the very plan of life itself. Clearly God's greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out of it. These two most important issues in our very personal and carefully supervised progress are the two issues that he as our Creator and Father and Guide wishes most to reserve to himself. These are the two matters that he has repeatedly told us he wants us never to take illegally, illicitly, unfaithfully, without sanction.
As for the taking of life, we are generally quite responsible. Most people, it seems to me, readily sense the sanctity of life and as a rule do not run up to friends, put a loaded revolver to their heads, and cavalierly pull the trigger. Furthermore, when there is a click of the hammer rather than an explosion of lead, and a possible tragedy seems to have been averted, no one in such a circumstance would be so stupid as to sigh, "Oh, good. I didn't go all the way."
No, "all the way" or not, the insanity of such action with fatal powder and steel is obvious on the face of it. Such a person running about this campus with an arsenal of loaded handguns or military weaponry aimed at fellow students would be apprehended, prosecuted, and institutionalized if in fact such a lunatic would not himself have been killed in all the pandemonium. After such a fictitious moment of horror on this campus (and you are too young to remember my college years when the sniper wasn't fictitious, killing twelve of his fellow students at the University of Texas), we would undoubtedly sit in our dorms or classrooms with terror on our minds for many months to come, wondering how such a thing could possibly happen--especially here at BYU.
No, fortunately, in the case of how life is taken, I think we seem to be quite responsible. The seriousness of that does not often have to be spelled out, and not many sermons need to be devoted to it.
But in the significance and sanctity of giving life, some of us are not so responsible, and in the larger world swirling around us we find near criminal irresponsibility. What would in the case of taking life bring absolute horror and demand grim justice, in the case of giving life brings dirty jokes and four-letter lyrics and crass carnality on the silver screen, home-owned or downtown.
Is such moral turpitude so wrong? That question has always been asked, usually by the guilty. "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness" (Proverbs 30:20). No murder here. Well, maybe not. But sexual transgression? "He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul." Sounds near fatal to me.
So much for the doctrinal seriousness. Now, with a desire to prevent such painful moments, to avoid what Alma called the "inexpressible horror" of standing in the presence of God unworthily, and to permit the intimacy it is your right and privilege and delight to enjoy in marriage to be untainted by such crushing remorse and guilt--I wish to give those three reasons I mentioned earlier as to why I believe this is an issue of such magnitude and consequence.
The Doctrine of the Soul
First, we simply must understand the revealed, restored Latter-day Saint doctrine of the soul, and the high and inextricable part the body plays in that doctrine. One of the "plain and precious" truths restored to this dispensation is that "the spirit and the body are the soul of man" (D&C88:15; emphasis added) and that when the spirit and body are separated, men and women "cannot receive a fulness of joy" (D&C93:34). Certainly that suggests something of the reason why obtaining a body is so fundamentally important to the plan of salvation in the first place, why sin of any kind is such a serious matter (namely because its automatic consequence is death, the separation of the spirit from the body and the separation of the spirit and the body from God), and why the resurrection of the body is so central to the great abiding and eternal triumph of Christ's atonement. We do not have to be a herd of demonically possessed swine charging down the Gadarene slopes toward the sea to understand that a body is the great prize of mortal life, and that even a pig's will do for those frenzied spirits that rebelled, and to this day remain dispossessed, in their first, unembodied estate.May I quote a 1913 sermon by Elder James E. Talmage on this doctrinal point:
We have been taught . . . to look upon these bodies of ours as gifts from God. We Latter-day Saints do not regard the body as something to be condemned, something to be abhorred. . . . We regard [the body] as the sign of our royal birthright. . . . We recognize . . . that those who kept not their first estate . . . were denied that inestimable blessing. . . . We believe that these bodies . . . may be made, in very truth, the temple of the Holy Ghost. . . .
It is peculiar to the theology of the Latter-day Saints that we regard the body as an essential part of the soul. Read your dictionaries, the lexicons, and encyclopedias, and you will find that nowhere [in Christianity], outside of the Church of Jesus Christ, is the solemn and eternal truth taught that the soul of man is the body and the spirit combined. [CR, October 1913, p. 117]
So partly in answer to why such seriousness, we answer that one toying with the God-given--and satanically coveted--body of another, toys with the very soul of that individual, toys with the central purpose and product of life, "the very key" to life, as Elder Boyd K. Packer once called it. In trivializing the soul of another (please include the word body there), we trivialize the Atonement that saved that soul and guaranteed its continued existence. And when one toys with the Son of Righteousness, the Day Star himself, one toys with white heat and a flame hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned. You cannot with impunity "crucify Christ afresh" (see Hebrews 6:6). Exploitation of the body (please include the word soul there) is, in the last analysis, an exploitation of him who is the Light and the Life of the world. Perhaps here Paul's warning to the Corinthians takes on newer, higher meaning:
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. . . .
Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. . . .
Flee fornication. . . . He that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. . . .
. . . Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. [1 Corinthians 6:13-20; emphasis added]
Our soul is what's at stake here--our spirit and our body. Paul understood that doctrine of the soul every bit as well as James E. Talmage did, because it is gospel truth. The purchase price for our fullness of joy--body and spirit eternally united--is the pure and innocent blood of the Savior of this world. We cannot then say in ignorance or defiance, "Well, it's my life," or worse yet, "It's my body." It is not. "Ye are not your own," Paul said. "Ye are bought with a price." So in answer to the question, "Why does God care so much about sexual transgression?" it is partly because of the precious gift offered by and through his Only Begotten Son to redeem the souls--bodies and spirits--we too often share and abuse in cheap and tawdry ways. Christ restored the very seeds of eternal lives (see D&C132:19, 24), and we desecrate them at our peril. The first key reason for personal purity? Our very souls are involved and at stake.
A Symbol of Total Union
Second, may I suggest that human intimacy, that sacred, physical union ordained of God for a married couple, deals with a symbol that demands special sanctity. Such an act of love between a man and a woman is--or certainly was ordained to be--a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest in the temple with a word like seal. The Prophet Joseph Smith once said we perhaps ought to render such a sacred bond as "welding"--that those united in matrimony and eternal families are "welded" together, inseparable if you will, to withstand the temptations of the adversary and the afflictions of mortality. (See D&C 128:18.)But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise.
As delicate as it is to mention in such a setting, I nevertheless trust your maturity to understand that physiologically we are created as men and women to fit together in such a union. In this ultimate physical expression of one man and one woman they are as nearly and as literally "one" as two separate physical bodies can ever be. It is in that act of ultimate physical intimacy we most nearly fulfill the commandment of the Lord given to Adam and Eve, living symbols for all married couples, when he invited them to cleave unto one another only, and thus become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
Obviously, such a commandment to these two, the first husband and wife of the human family, has unlimited implications--social, cultural, and religious as well as physical--but that is exactly my point. As all couples come to that moment of bonding in mortality, it is to be just such a complete union. That commandment cannot be fulfilled, and that symbolism of "one flesh" cannot be preserved, if we hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously share intimacy in a darkened corner of a darkened hour, then just as hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously retreat to our separate worlds--not to eat or live or cry or laugh together, not to do the laundry and the dishes and the homework, not to manage a budget and pay the bills and tend the children and plan together for the future. No, we cannot do that until we are truly one--united, bound, linked, tied, welded, sealed, married.
Can you see then the moral schizophrenia that comes from pretending we are one, sharing the physical symbols and physical intimacy of our union, but then fleeing, retreating, severing all such other aspects--and symbols--of what was meant to be a total obligation, only to unite again furtively some other night or, worse yet, furtively unite (and you can tell how cynically I use that word) with some other partner who is no more bound to us, no more one with us than the last was or than the one that will come next week or next month or next year or anytime before the binding commitments of marriage?
You must wait--you must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are at least legally and, for Latter-day Saint purposes, eternally pronounced as one. To give illicitly that which is not yours to give (remember--"you are not your own") and to give only part of that which cannot be followed with the gift of your whole heart and your whole life and your whole self is its own form of emotional Russian roulette. If you persist in sharing part without the whole, in pursuing satisfaction devoid of symbolism, in giving parts and pieces and inflamed fragments only, you run the terrible risk of such spiritual, psychic damage that you may undermine both your physical intimacy and your wholehearted devotion to a truer, later love. You may come to that moment of real love, of total union, only to discover to your horror that what you should have saved has been spent, and--mark my words--only God's grace can recover that piecemeal dissipation of your virtue.
A good Latter-day Saint friend, Dr. Victor L. Brown, Jr., has written of this issue:
Fragmentation enables its users to counterfeit intimacy. . . .
If we relate to each other in fragments, at best we miss full relationships. At worst, we manipulate and exploit others for our gratification. Sexual fragmentation can be particularly harmful because it gives powerful physiological rewards which, though illusory, can temporarily persuade us to overlook the serious deficits in the overall relationship. Two people may marry for physical gratification and then discover that the illusion of union collapses under the weight of intellectual, social, and spiritual incompatibilities. . . .
Sexual fragmentation is particularly harmful because it is particularly deceptive. The intense human intimacy that should be enjoyed in and symbolized by sexual union is counterfeited by sensual episodes which suggest--but cannot deliver--acceptance, understanding, and love. Such encounters mistake the end for the means as lonely, desperate people seek a common denominator which will permit the easiest, quickest gratification. [Victor L. Brown, Jr., Human Intimacy: Illusion and Reality (Salt Lake City, Utah: Parliament Publishers, 1981), pp. 5-6]
Listen to a far more biting observation by a non-Latter-day Saint regarding such acts devoid of both the soul and symbolism we have been discussing. He writes:
Our sexuality has been animalized, stripped of the intricacy of feeling with which human beings have endowed it, leaving us to contemplate only the act, and to fear our impotence in it. It is this animalization from which the sexual manuals cannot escape, even when they try to do so, because they are reflections of it. They might [as well] be textbooks for veterinarians. [Fairlie, Seven Deadly Sins, p. 182]
In this matter of counterfeit intimacy and deceptive gratification, I express particular caution to the men who hear this message. I have heard all my life that it is the young woman who has to assume the responsibility for controlling the limits of intimacy in courtship because a young man cannot. What an unacceptable response to such a serious issue! What kind of man is he, what priesthood or power or strength or self-control does this man have that lets him develop in society, grow to the age of mature accountability, perhaps even pursue a university education and prepare to affect the future of colleagues and kingdoms and the course of the world, but yet does not have the mental capacity or the moral will to say, "I will not do that thing"? No, this sorry drugstore psychology would have us say, "He just can't help himself. His glands have complete control over his life--his mind, his will, his entire future."
To say that a young woman in such a relationship has to bear her responsibility and that of the young man's too is the least fair assertion I can imagine. In most instances if there is sexual transgression, I lay the burden squarely on the shoulders of the young man--for our purposes probably a priesthood bearer--and that's where I believe God intended responsibility to be. In saying that I do not excuse young women who exercise no restraint and have not the character or conviction to demand intimacy only in its rightful role. I have had enough experience in Church callings to know that women as well as men can be predatory. But I refuse to buy some young man's feigned innocence who wants to sin and call it psychology.
Indeed, most tragically, it is the young woman who is most often the victim, it is the young woman who most often suffers the greater pain, it is the young woman who most often feels used and abused and terribly unclean. And for that imposed uncleanliness a man will pay, as surely as the sun sets and rivers run to the sea.
Note the prophet Jacob's straightforward language on this account in the Book of Mormon. After a bold confrontation on the subject of sexual transgression among the Nephites, he quotes Jehovah:
For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land. . . .
And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people . . . shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.
For they shall not lead away captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse, even unto destruction. [Jacob 2:31-33; emphasis added]
Don't be deceived and don't be destroyed. Unless such fire is controlled, your clothes and your future will be burned. And your world, short of painful and perfect repentance, will go up in flames. I give that to you on good word--I give it to you on God's word.
A HOLY SACRAMENT
That leads me to my last reason, a third effort to say why. After soul and symbol, the word is sacrament, a term closely related to the other two. Sexual intimacy is not only a symbolic union between a man and a woman--the uniting of their very souls--but it is also symbolic of a union between mortals and deity, between otherwise ordinary and fallible humans uniting for a rare and special moment with God himself and all the powers by which he gives life in this wide universe of ours.In this latter sense, human intimacy is a sacrament, a very special kind of symbol. For our purpose here today, a sacrament could be any one of a number of gestures or acts or ordinances that unite us with God and his limitless powers. We are imperfect and mortal; he is perfect and immortal. But from time to time--indeed, as often as is possible and appropriate--we find ways and go to places and create circumstances where we can unite symbolically with him, and in so doing gain access to his power. Those special moments of union with God are sacramental moments--such as kneeling at a marriage altar, or blessing a newborn baby, or partaking of the emblems of the Lord's supper. This latter ordinance is the one we in the Church have come to associate most traditionally with the word sacrament, though it is technically only one of many such moments when we formally take the hand of God and feel his divine power.
These are moments when we quite literally unite our will with God's will, our spirit with his spirit, where communion through the veil becomes very real. At such moments we not only acknowledge his divinity, but we quite literally take something of that divinity to ourselves. Such are the holy sacraments.
Now, once again, I know of no one who would, for example, rush into the middle of a sacramental service, grab the linen from the tables, throw the bread the full length of the room, tip the water trays onto the floor, and laughingly retreat from the building to await an opportunity to do the same thing at another worship service the next Sunday. No one within the sound of my voice would do that during one of the truly sacred moments of our religious worship. Nor would anyone here violate any of the other sacramental moments in our lives, those times when we consciously claim God's power and by invitation stand with him in privilege and principality.
But I wish to stress with you this morning, as my third of three reasons to be clean, that sexual union is also, in its own profound way, a very real sacrament of the highest order, a union not only of a man and a woman but very much the union of that man and woman with God. Indeed, if our definition of sacrament is that act of claiming and sharing and exercising God's own inestimable power, then I know of virtually no other divine privilege so routinely given to us all--women or men, ordained or unordained, Latter-day Saint or non-Latter-day Saint--than the miraculous and majestic power of transmitting life, the unspeakable, unfathomable, unbroken power of procreation. There are those special moments in your lives when the other, more formal ordinances of the gospel--the sacraments, if you will--allow you to feel the grace and grandeur of God's power. Many are one-time experiences (such as our own confirmation or our own marriage), and some are repeatable (such as administering to the sick or doing ordinance work for others in the temple). But I know of nothing so earth-shatteringly powerful and yet so universally and unstintingly given to us as the God-given power available in every one of us from our early teen years on to create a human body, that wonder of all wonders, a genetically and spiritually unique being never seen before in the history of the world and never to be duplicated again in all the ages of eternity--a child, your child--with eyes and ears and fingers and toes and a future of unspeakable grandeur.
Imagine that, if you will. Veritable teenagers--and all of us for many decades thereafter--carrying daily, hourly, minute-to-minute, virtually every waking and sleeping moment of our lives, the power and the chemistry and the eternally transmitted seeds of life to grant someone else her second estate, someone else his next level of development in the divine plan of salvation. I submit to you that no power, priesthood or otherwise, is given by God so universally to so many with virtually no control over its use except self-control. And I submit to you that you will never be more like God at any other time in this life than when you are expressing that particular power. Of all the titles he has chosen for himself, Father is the one he declares, and Creation is his watchword--especially human creation, creation in his image. His glory isn't a mountain, as stunning as mountains are. It isn't in sea or sky or snow or sunrise, as beautiful as they all are. It isn't in art or technology, be that a concerto or computer. No, his glory--and his grief--is in his children. You and I, we are his prized possessions, and we are the earthly evidence, however inadequate, of what he truly is. Human life--that is the greatest of God's powers, the most mysterious and magnificent chemistry of it all--and you and I have been given it, but under the most serious and sacred of restrictions. You and I who can make neither mountain nor moonlight, not one raindrop nor a single rose--yet we have this greater gift in an absolutely unlimited way. And the only control placed on us is self-control--self-control born of respect for the divine sacramental power it is.
Surely God's trust in us to respect this future-forming gift is awesomely staggering. We who may not be able to repair a bicycle nor assemble an average jigsaw puzzle--yet with all our weaknesses and imperfections, we carry this procreative power that makes us very much like God in at least one grand and majestic way.
A SERIOUS MATTER
Souls. Symbols. Sacraments. Does any of this help you understand why human intimacy is such a serious matter? Why it is so right and rewarding and stunningly beautiful when it is within marriage and approved of God (not just "good" but "very good," he declared to Adam and Eve), and so blasphemously wrong--like unto murder--when it is outside such a covenant? It is my understanding that we park and pet and sleep over and sleep with at the peril of our very lives. Our penalty may not come on the precise day of our transgression, but it comes surely and certainly enough, and were it not for a merciful God and the treasured privilege of personal repentance, far too many would even now be feeling that hellish pain, which (like the passion we have been discussing) is also always described in the metaphor of fire. Someday, somewhere, sometime the morally unclean will, until they repent, pray like the rich man, wishing Lazarus to "dip . . . his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame" (Luke 16:24).Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
In closing, consider this from two students of civilization's long, instructive story:
No one man [or woman], however brilliant or well-informed, can come in one lifetime to such fullness of understanding as to safely judge and dismiss the customs or institutions of his society, for these are the wisdom of generations after centuries of experiment in the laboratory of history. A youth boiling with hormones will wonder why he should not give full freedom to his sexual desires; and if he is unchecked by custom, morals, or laws, he may ruin his life [or hers] before he matures sufficiently to understand that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints if it is not to consume in chaos both the individual and the group. [Will and Ariel Durant, The Lessons of History (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1968), pp. 35-36]
Or, in the more ecclesiastical words of James E. Talmage:
It has been declared in the solemn word of revelation, that the spirit and the body constitute the soul of man; and, therefore, we should look upon this body as something that shall endure in the resurrected state, beyond the grave, something to be kept pure and holy. Be not afraid of soiling its hands; be not afraid of scars that may come to it if won in earnest effort, or [won] in honest fight, but beware of scars that disfigure, that have come to you in places where you ought not have gone, that have befallen you in unworthy undertakings [pursued where you ought not have been]; beware of the wounds of battles in which you have been fighting on the wrong side. [Talmage, CR, October 1913, p. 117]
I love you for wanting to be on the right side of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I express my pride in and appreciation for your faithfulness. As I said earlier, you are an absolute inspiration to me. I consider it the greatest of all professional privileges to be associated with you at this university at a time in your lives when you are finalizing what you believe and forging what your future will be.
If some few of you are feeling the "scars . . . that have come to you in places where you ought not have gone," I wish to extend to you the special peace and promise available through the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. I testify of his love and of the restored gospel principles and ordinances which make that love available to us with all their cleansing and healing power. I testify of the power of these principles and ordinances, including complete and redeeming repentance, which are only fully realized in this the true and living church of the true and living God. That we may "come unto Christ" for the fullness of soul and symbol and sacrament he offers us, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
My Everyday Heroes
A hero is defined as follows:
oÊŠ
2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.
3. the principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.
4. Classical Mythology .
When we think of hero's we often think of the ones we read or hear about in stories, movies, fairy tales, and comics. They are the brave ones who stand up and fight for the truth and what we know to be right. They are the people we dream of as kids. The ones we admire from a far and hope to one day find in real life. They are our knights in shinning armor known as the Disney Princes. Our defenders of the weak known as Batman, Superman, and the Ninja Turtles. They are the brave who lead the fight like Captain America. They are who we dream about being and dream about finding in real life when we one day grow up.
a. a being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.
b. (in the Homeric period) a warrior-chieftain of special strength, courage, or ability.
c.(in later antiquity) an immortal being; demigod.
When we think of hero's we often think of the ones we read or hear about in stories, movies, fairy tales, and comics. They are the brave ones who stand up and fight for the truth and what we know to be right. They are the people we dream of as kids. The ones we admire from a far and hope to one day find in real life. They are our knights in shinning armor known as the Disney Princes. Our defenders of the weak known as Batman, Superman, and the Ninja Turtles. They are the brave who lead the fight like Captain America. They are who we dream about being and dream about finding in real life when we one day grow up.
And sometimes with all of this dreaming we forget that heroes really exist. We forget that they are real and that the that ones we dream about were all inspired by the real life version of that hero. Every Disney Prince has a real life counterpart. The guy who comes into the world out of nowhere and sweeps the maiden off her feet. The man who is just a little ruff around the edges but will take you on grand adventures and rescue and defend you at a moments notice. We forget that there are still defenders of the weak. Every Batman and ninja turtle was model after someone who really existed. There are still people who will stand up and fight for those who can't fight for themselves. And most of all there are still those who are willing to stand up and lead the fight in the battle to protect our freedoms and rights just like Captain America. All of the heroes that we dream about exist in the real life versions. And sometimes they are even closer then we think.
And sometimes the hero in your life may take on a new form. Sometimes that hero turns out to be the person who makes you laugh. It could be a person who lifts you up when all you want to do is fall. It could be the person that brings you back to reality and helps you get back on your feet after your dreams have crumbled. A lot of times these heroes come not in the versions of the Prince, or Batman, or Captain America. But they come in the form of something we see much more often. These heroes are often what we call friends, family, parents, teachers, and neighbors. Sometimes they even come in the form of a stranger who just happened to cross your path when you needed them too. These people become our everyday heroes. They become the ones that we call on for help. They becomes the ones that we lean on when we can't stand on our own. And they are the ones who help guide us in our lives, even when we don't want to follow.
And I for one, am grateful. I am grateful to the friend who bought me sherbet because she could tell I was down. I am grateful for those who pull me back to reality and then help me find my way through. I am grateful to the men who came to my rescue when my car decided not to start, and then came to my rescue throughout the week when it continued to have a mind of its own. I am grateful to the stranger who told me that she thought I would be very good and what I do.
So, thank you. Thank you to all of the everyday heroes in my life and in the world. Thanks for letting me call you my family and friends. My neighbors and teachers, and sometimes even my strangers. Thank you for being who you are and for doing the great things that you do. And for those of you reading this thinking that what you do for those around you is just a small act or doesn't amount to anything, you are wrong. For even a smile can be the greatest heroic act for the person who needs it.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Book Lover
I am an avid book lover. It is true. I love books. I love reading them. I love hearing them. And I love the memories I have of experiences with them throughout my life. Now, I have not always been a book lover. In fact, when I was younger my mom thought that I would hate reading forever.
My mom loved to read. She loved all kinds of books. Childrens' books, mysteries, adventures, chick flicks and most others. Growing up she would read to us kids all of the time. I always remember having books in the house. She would buy them for us, read them to us, and do all she could to get us to like them. My older sister loved books from the start. She loved to hear the stories, loved to look at the pictures, and when she was old enough she loved to read them herself. And for awhile it looked like she was going to be the only other book lover in the family. For you see, as a kid, I didn't love to read, in fact, I didn't even like reading. I didn't mind listening to stories, but I would rather watch a movie instead. And as far as the pictures went, well I would rather draw my own, and when it came down to it, I just didn't like to read them. My younger brother was never much of a reader either. He couldn't sit still long enough to make it through a book so there wasn't much hope for getting him to like it, let a lone love it.
But one day the book bug bit me. It didn't happen until the summer before I entered Junior High. I had started to get a little more into books at the end of my elementary years but I still hadn't found a love for them yet. I would read a childrens' book every now and then, but mostly for the pictures. It still hadn't occurred to that you could get lost in the words yet. But somehow books had started to grow on me. I had started to find an interest int hem and was even curious about them. My mom bought me a couple of books from the book fairs at school and my grandma gave me two for my birthday. At first they just sat on my shelves. I still didn't have the desire to spend the time it took to read them. Then one summer day I picked one up and started to read the first page. The first page lead to the second and then to the third and pretty soon I realized that I had read the whole first chapter. But, that is not what surprised me. What surprised me was that I then wanted to read the second. I was curious to see what was going to happen.
Over the next week I made my way through the book. I would read a chapter here and there and found that I was reading a bigger chunk each time I opened the book. It wasn't long until I was finished and realized that I enjoyed it. Over the rest of the summer and into junior high, I found that I was reading more and more and that I was enjoying it. I was finding that I could get lost in a book and the characters of the story. I was finding that books could be a great adventure. And before long I realized that I not only liked reading, but that I loved it. And as I have gotten older and the more books I have read, the bigger that loves grows. I know find that I love all kinds of books. Childrens books,murder mysteries, adventures, chick flicks, some history, and many others.
That first book that I really remember reading on my own, that one that really started it all, is called The Skull of Truth. It was one of the ones that my mom got me from the book fair at school when I was finishing 6th grade. It is one that intrigued me enough to continuing reading beyond the first few pages. And It is one that I still own today. It sits on my shelf whee it waits to be read again. Where it waits for someone to come along and open it's pages so that it can take them on an adventure. But it doesn't sit alone. For over the years I have found a great love for books and have purchased many. I have received many has gifts as well and they now all sit on the shelves waiting there turn to be read. For that is one thing that I love most about books, you don't just get lost in them once, but you get lost in them every time you open there pages. Every time you read their words the stories come to life and the adventures begin. And getting lost in their worlds is something I enjoy doing often.
So when my friend came across this short film she new I would love it. She sent me the link and I watched it the next morning and simply smiled. You fellow books lovers will understand why, and if you aren't a book lover, . . . well, you just might enjoy it anyway. And who knows, maybe it will inspire you to pick up a book of your own and see if you too can get lost in the world of a book.
My mom loved to read. She loved all kinds of books. Childrens' books, mysteries, adventures, chick flicks and most others. Growing up she would read to us kids all of the time. I always remember having books in the house. She would buy them for us, read them to us, and do all she could to get us to like them. My older sister loved books from the start. She loved to hear the stories, loved to look at the pictures, and when she was old enough she loved to read them herself. And for awhile it looked like she was going to be the only other book lover in the family. For you see, as a kid, I didn't love to read, in fact, I didn't even like reading. I didn't mind listening to stories, but I would rather watch a movie instead. And as far as the pictures went, well I would rather draw my own, and when it came down to it, I just didn't like to read them. My younger brother was never much of a reader either. He couldn't sit still long enough to make it through a book so there wasn't much hope for getting him to like it, let a lone love it.
But one day the book bug bit me. It didn't happen until the summer before I entered Junior High. I had started to get a little more into books at the end of my elementary years but I still hadn't found a love for them yet. I would read a childrens' book every now and then, but mostly for the pictures. It still hadn't occurred to that you could get lost in the words yet. But somehow books had started to grow on me. I had started to find an interest int hem and was even curious about them. My mom bought me a couple of books from the book fairs at school and my grandma gave me two for my birthday. At first they just sat on my shelves. I still didn't have the desire to spend the time it took to read them. Then one summer day I picked one up and started to read the first page. The first page lead to the second and then to the third and pretty soon I realized that I had read the whole first chapter. But, that is not what surprised me. What surprised me was that I then wanted to read the second. I was curious to see what was going to happen.
Over the next week I made my way through the book. I would read a chapter here and there and found that I was reading a bigger chunk each time I opened the book. It wasn't long until I was finished and realized that I enjoyed it. Over the rest of the summer and into junior high, I found that I was reading more and more and that I was enjoying it. I was finding that I could get lost in a book and the characters of the story. I was finding that books could be a great adventure. And before long I realized that I not only liked reading, but that I loved it. And as I have gotten older and the more books I have read, the bigger that loves grows. I know find that I love all kinds of books. Childrens books,murder mysteries, adventures, chick flicks, some history, and many others.
That first book that I really remember reading on my own, that one that really started it all, is called The Skull of Truth. It was one of the ones that my mom got me from the book fair at school when I was finishing 6th grade. It is one that intrigued me enough to continuing reading beyond the first few pages. And It is one that I still own today. It sits on my shelf whee it waits to be read again. Where it waits for someone to come along and open it's pages so that it can take them on an adventure. But it doesn't sit alone. For over the years I have found a great love for books and have purchased many. I have received many has gifts as well and they now all sit on the shelves waiting there turn to be read. For that is one thing that I love most about books, you don't just get lost in them once, but you get lost in them every time you open there pages. Every time you read their words the stories come to life and the adventures begin. And getting lost in their worlds is something I enjoy doing often.
So when my friend came across this short film she new I would love it. She sent me the link and I watched it the next morning and simply smiled. You fellow books lovers will understand why, and if you aren't a book lover, . . . well, you just might enjoy it anyway. And who knows, maybe it will inspire you to pick up a book of your own and see if you too can get lost in the world of a book.
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore (2011)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
What Christmas Means to Me
December is a month that is looked forward to by many. To most kids it means Santa Clause and gifts, to many in the world it means a hectic month of shopping and parties to attend, and to many Christians it means a celebration of the birth of Christ. To me Christmas means a variety of things. It means all of the above, but it also means so much more. To me it means family, friends, and memories in the making with them all. Every December since I can remember has been busy and full of people. And in all honesty, I like it that way. For you see, to me Christmas means spending time with those that I love. It means gathering together with friends and family doing a variety of different things. Some of the things we do are always the same. These would be the traditions. The decorating the tree, the listening to Nat King Cole, the Family Christmas parties with the same food that we have always had and that we always look forward to, the baking of treats, the Christmas movies that always get watched, and the stories that always get read. And every year along with all of these traditions there are always a few other things that I tend to do with others that add to the fun of the season. As you can tell, and as you probably know, December becomes a very busy month. And since I have been mia from posting I figured I would let you know what I have been up to. So here is my month of December in both words and pictures.
~ Craft Nights- Many nights, and some afternoons, were spent making gifts for some of those I love
~ Fab 5 Christmas Party - I do not think words are needed to, or even would, describe this event. It is always full of laughter, love, and great memories by the time it is over. This year was no different with enchiladas, rice, beans, gingerbread houses, gifts, music, and everything that comes with hanging out with some of your best friends.
Discouraged and alone, we're not easily consoled
The school of life gets difficult, just as we were told.
Doubt shrinks us at the threshold of the darkened way,
Despair creeps in upon us and is hard to keep at bay.
Light now dims as the shadows grow in length
Heaviness engulfs us; we stop to pray for strength.
It seems we're going nowhere; life's a dead end street,
Relief is what we plead for, when it all feels like defeat!
The fun has disappeared; dropping out is on our mind,
The test has overwhelmed us, the answers hard to find.
In these trying moments we must stop and be so still
That we can feel His promptings and know that they are real.
Only then can we be ready to sense the Master's touch,
To know He's always there and that He loves us very much!
He knows just how we feel He's been this way before,
He's also climbed these steps He's walked this corridor.
He is our tender tutor sent here to be our guide,
All wisdom opens to us when He is by our side.
Earth's halls are not so dim when the Master lights the way,
He reveals a "world of wonder" that brings joy throughout our stay.
Hand in hand He'll lead us to a life that never ends,
To a brighter day in a world unseen, together eternal friends.
Greg Olsen - 2010
~ Festival of Trees
~ Craft Nights- Many nights, and some afternoons, were spent making gifts for some of those I love
~ Oyler Family Party
~ Messiah Christmas Concert - this was a new experience for me. I went with some friends to see the Messiah concert that is held at the Grand Theater. Scott had been many times before and said we had to join him. Melissa and I eagerly joined and had quite the time. The concert is a spin off of Handel's Messiah. I felt Like I was at a Baptist concert. The music was good and the atmosphere was fun. It wasn't at all what I was expecting, but I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and the show. ~ Christmas Shopping with Mom
~ The Eclipse Christmas Concert - Every year since they started doing Christmas concerts I have attended their show. Each year the company has changed a little, but it is always great and we always love the show. This year was no different. Jenny, Mindy and I met up for dinner at the Training Table and then headed down the hill to the show. The show was great as always and we had a fabulous time singing along and dancing in our seats. This concert is definitely becoming a favorite tradition. 
~ Fab 5 Christmas Party - I do not think words are needed to, or even would, describe this event. It is always full of laughter, love, and great memories by the time it is over. This year was no different with enchiladas, rice, beans, gingerbread houses, gifts, music, and everything that comes with hanging out with some of your best friends.
~ Zoo Lights - Over the last few years I have heard people talk about going to see the Zoo Lights at Hogel Zoo. I have wanted to go and see them for my self and this year I did. It was fun to walk around and see all of the displays. There were a few of animals chasing each other and some of them fighting where I was a little thrown off, but I guess that is what animals do. My favorite display was the under the sea one. It made me smile. Overall I enjoyed the night and liked the displays as well as the company of Melissa and Scott. I will probably have to go again sometime in the future.
~ Tuesday Movie Nights - I love having a group of friends to get together with every Tuesday to make dinner and watch movies. It was especially fun this December when we watched a variety of Christmas shows. Some that were old favorites and some that were new.
~Stake Temple Night - I love going to the Temple anyway, but it was a great experience to go with members of my ward and stake. It was fun to have all the people there in the same age group and the people I knew working that night. I will definitely be going each month.
~ Dinner at the Roof and Temple Square- It turns out that I have a friend who just happens to work at the Roof. Melissa and I wanted to visit him so we called and he got us a reservation. That was the first time that I had actually eaten at the Roof. It was such a great atmosphere and sitting by the window where you could look out and see the temple and all of Temple Square was awesome. The food was delicious and it was nice to just sit and chill over dinner for 2 hours. Plus it was also fun to visit Jeff and see him at work. We will probably have to go and visit him again one day. After dinner we went and looked at the lights on Temple Square. This is something that I always love doing. I love looking at all of the displays and the peace that comes from just being on temple grounds.
~Whiting Family Christmas Party - This is a party that I look forward to every December. We always have the same food of egg sausage casserole, scones, and fruit with juice and hot chocolate to drink and we always play the same game of white elephant, and I love every minute of it. We are a pretty close family and it is always a great day when we can get together and laugh about old memories while making new ones.
~ Girls Lunch and Pedicures - Sometimes it is really nice being a girl :)
~ Christmas Eve Dinner - Stuffed steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, steamed veggies, cheese sauce, homemade rolls, chili sauce, stuffing.... Yum
~ Christmas Day Adventures - Going from house to house, family, laughter, fun....and this year a glorious sacrament meeting with joyful and inspiring music of Christ. There is no other way I would have spent Christmas morning then sitting in church with my family and singing Silent Night with guitar accompaniment. It was simple and sweet and brought a joy and peace that only the spirit can bring.
~ Whiting Family Photos - It has been many years since one of these was taken and I am glad that we took a new one. Especially since nine people have been added to this wonderful family. I will never forget however, the antics of the photographer and how weird we thought he was. Oh, what memories we have from this night.
~ Fab 5 Sleepover - New Years is always an adventure and is especially fun when you get to spend it with friends doing the simple things that you all love. Granted, this year it was the night before New Years Eve, but still just as much fun.
~ My Savior - But my favorite part of December, even with all of this, is simply celebrating the birth and the life of Jesus Christ. Everyday I am grateful for his birth, and even more grateful for his life. For if he was just born in a manger and did nothing else, then all he would have been was a baby in a manger. But he did so much more. He lived the life he was meant to live. He brought joy, peace, mercy, knowledge, hope, charity, lessons and words of a loving Heavenly Father, faith, baptism, repentance, and the Atonement. And he brought all of this with a humble and graceful spirit that has not been surpassed. He was everything that a man should aspire to be in all human characteristics.He was able to teach others lessons of forgiveness, lessons of love, lessons of good works, lessons of charity, lessons of God, lessons of repentance, and do it all with kindness and faith in those around him. So even though I am grateful for his birth and know that it is worth celebrating, I am even more grateful for the life that He lived. And that is something that is worth celebrating, because I know that it is because of him that I can find my way back home to my Father in Heaven. It is because of him and the infinite Atonement that he provided that I can grow and learn and fill peace and love and have all things restored unto me.It is because I know that he still lives today that I can live again. (art by David Bowman and Greg Olsen)
My Child
Innocence
Joy
Lost and Found
THE MASTER'S TOUCH
Discouraged and alone, we're not easily consoled
The school of life gets difficult, just as we were told.
Doubt shrinks us at the threshold of the darkened way,
Despair creeps in upon us and is hard to keep at bay.
Light now dims as the shadows grow in length
Heaviness engulfs us; we stop to pray for strength.
It seems we're going nowhere; life's a dead end street,
Relief is what we plead for, when it all feels like defeat!
The fun has disappeared; dropping out is on our mind,
The test has overwhelmed us, the answers hard to find.
In these trying moments we must stop and be so still
That we can feel His promptings and know that they are real.
Only then can we be ready to sense the Master's touch,
To know He's always there and that He loves us very much!
He knows just how we feel He's been this way before,
He's also climbed these steps He's walked this corridor.
He is our tender tutor sent here to be our guide,
All wisdom opens to us when He is by our side.
Earth's halls are not so dim when the Master lights the way,
He reveals a "world of wonder" that brings joy throughout our stay.
Hand in hand He'll lead us to a life that never ends,
To a brighter day in a world unseen, together eternal friends.
Greg Olsen - 2010
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