It feels like home to me....

Some of you asked me why I want to be a teacher. My answer is simply that I love it. I love to teach. And I love children.

Ever since I was little I have wanted to be a teacher. I remember playing with my sister and friends and making them be my students. I loved being the teacher and having them do projects. As I got older I went through stages where I wanted to be a nurse or a chef. At one point in time I just wanted to be an artist. I even looked into each of these careers and tried to figure out how to achieve them. When it came down to it though, none of them really worked out or fit. I just couldn’t see myself doing any of those careers for a lifetime. They were all just fun to think about.

Going through the teaching class up here at the U and the experiences I have had in the elementary schools have made me fall in love with teaching all over again. The first time I thought I would like to be a teacher was when I was little and fell in love with my own first grade teacher. She made learning fun and entertaining. That’s when I started making others be my students. My third, fourth, and sixth grade teachers all did the same thing. They made learning exciting for me, not a job. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up.

The second time that I thought I might like to be a teacher was when I was sixteen and started to teach dance classes to little kids. I loved going to the dance studio each week and seeing what they had learned and remembered from the last previous one. It was such a joy to see them try and to see them succeed. By then I had gone through the ideas of becoming a nurse or a chef. But when I started to take those classes and pursue those careers, I would always come back to teaching.

The third time I came around the idea of teaching again was when I became a primary teacher in my church. I was called to teach the five and six year old's, and I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea of how I was going to teach them or where to even begin. I soon fell in love with the kids in my class though and looked forward to teaching them each week. I also began to learn which ways worked to teach them the best. I learned that you have to ask questions to get them involved and to keep them entertained. I learned that you need to have activities planned each week that will help them understand what you are supposed to be teaching. I also learned very quickly that the lesson doesn’t always go as you planned and that as a teacher you have to be flexible and willing to change things that just don’t work.

I truly knew I wanted to be a teacher when I was in a classroom for one of my first education classes. I believe it was Intro to Teaching. I was helping in Mrs. Jeppson’s first grade classroom. This was the first classroom I was in and I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea of what I was getting myself into or what I would come away with. With each week that went by I felt that I could come back and I began to relax a little. Each week I would get there the students would come charging in when the bell rang. They would race to the backpack station and hang their stuff up. They would then proceed to come to me and tell me about all of the new things going on. Each week I would also feel nervous again when Mrs. Jeppson would give me something new to do. I went from just helping the students with math and sitting in the back ground to helping them read, giving them spelling tests, playing math and vocabulary games with them, and coming up with a lesson to teach them. With each week came nervousness and joy. Each time I went more and more of them would come and talk to me at the beginning of class. More and more of them would ask for my help when doing assignments and more and more of them asked if they could leave with me when I left and then when I said no would say that they would wait till next week then.

My favorite day in the classroom was on Valentine’s Day. I had gotten to help each student make a bag the week before. They were all so excited that a holiday was coming up. On Valentine’s Day when I went in the classroom I was happy to see each bag lined up on the shelf by the back wall. Among the students bags I saw my own. I saw that some of the students had already brought in there treats for the others and I was excited to give them mine. When they students came running in after the bell you could tell that they were so excited to see what was going to happen that day. The ones that had not given their treats yet hurried to do so. They were all so excited to give each other what they had brought and to see what they had gotten so far. After the handing out of treats we did Valentine’s activities. The whole day was filled with laughter and excitement. It was very hectic but very fun at the same time. When I left that day I took my Valentine’s Day bag with me full of Valentine’s from each of the students. I was surprised that night when I went through it and found notes from some of the students along with their Valentine’s. The notes made me realize how much I had come to care for the kids and how much I had affected each one of them. The notes weren’t anything spectacular to people who didn’t know the kids, to them they were just scribbled sentences on a piece of chocolate covered paper. But to me they were amazing. Each one was special in its own way. That day something inside me clicked, and I knew that I wanted to be a teacher and always would.

People say that home is where the heart is. If this is true, then my home is in the elementary schools. I love going into those classrooms and helping out in anyway that I can. I love teaching the students and helping them to understand something that they did not get before. I love that look in there eyes when they finally understand something or when they have an idea. It is so exciting to see people learn and to discover. For that is what learning is. It is discovering the truths and myths about the world and connecting it all together in one crazy place called life. It is seeking for knowledge and gaining access to the mysteries of the world and I want to help others find it. I want to help people figure out the world and love to learn.

When I have told other people that I love to teach some of them said it is because I like kids. Others have stated that it is because I like to act like a kid and I like the same things the kids do. Some people think it is just because I am animated and the kids are the only ones that respond to my goofiness. But for me it is simply that I love it. I love being in the classroom. I love teaching them. It is where my heart is and when I walk through those elementary schools doors it feels like I have just come home. It is where I belong and it is where I want to be.

Sir Christopherson von Walker

so i know that i have not writen on here in a very long time. i would like to let everyone know that i am great and that all is well. i have just been very busy with scholl and work, and everything else that i attempt to do in my crazy life. i love it though, and would not have it any other way.
i just helped my brother write a paper for school and thought that it was pretty funny. so i decided that i would ahre it with you all. so here it is, the tale of Sir Christopherson von Walker. i hope you enjoy...

Once upon a time, in far away land called Bountiful West, lived a young lad named Christopherson von Walker. Ever since he was a child he had dreamed of being in the most elite position that the town of Bountiful had to offer…a member of the Bountiful High Choir. He knew that he would have to cross many hurdles and slay many dragons and monsters to reach this goal. It would not only take tackling the dragons and monsters, but it would also take great amounts of study with the ministerial of music to learn all knowledge of staffs and notes. Even though this would be a difficult journey, he undertook it with great zeal and determination.
When it came time for the young lad to depart upon his journey, he packed a small satchel and bid his fare mother farewell. He started out east towards the rising sun heading towards the town of Bountiful. His journey first led him up a treacherous hill that was covered with many motor people carriages, in which he had to dodge. He feared he might lose his life as one came roaring towards him. As it drew nearer he lashed out and leapt out of the way while waving madly trying to slow the daemon. Alas, he landed safely on the side of the roadway barely unscathed.
Christopherson then continued on his journey traveling many miles. After trudging along the road for a quarter of the day, he found himself at the shop of Sir von Treble. He knew that he must first find a worthy weapon of music in which to conquer the great Sir Smity. Sir Smity Werven Man Jensen was the fearsome leader of the elite Bountiful High Choir. Christopherson knew that the only place to find a worthy piece would be in Sir von Treble’s shop. As he entered through the door he was struck with a mighty blow that threw him against the wall. Leaning on the wall he opened his eyes to the many great stacks of worthy musical weapons. How would he ever find the one piece that would be his greatest weapon in all of this?
After searching far and wide through the great stacks of music he found his greatest weapon. The one piece that would be able to bring him his greatest glory. The piece was called Hurricane Woman. He then paid Sir von Treble for his troubles, and was on his way.
Christopherson knew that his next destination would be Bountiful High. He continued to make his way up the great hill. As he drew nearer, he began to be able to see it. His dreams were now in sight. All he had left to do was to cross the great Brave pass and enter into the mighty structure. He then continued to the corner, where the crosswalk was to cross the pass. He had to wait but a small moment in order for the motor people carriages to go on by. After they had moved along, he remembered his fare mothers warning to stop, look and listen. When he felt it was safe he sprinted to the other side, once again finding himself unscathed.
He then approached the hallowed doors and entered in. He knew that he was coming closer to his destination. Now all he had to do was find and conquer the great Sir Smity. Christopherson journeyed down the passage way to Sir Smity’s lair. He felt weak, but knew that he must go on. He entered through the great metal doors and found Sir Smity engaged in battles with others. Christopherson waited for his moment to shine, for he knew that he would be the greatest conqueror of all. When the time came for him to open his mouth and sing, he strode forward with his weapon in hand. The music started and he poured out his soul and wielded all his courage. He sang the worthy piece with great vigor and strength. Sir Smity was blown away by the power of the weapon and fell to the ground. When the song ended, Christopherson knew that he had conquered the great Sir Smity.
Sir Smity rose and stepped forward. He then knighted the young lad and gave him entrance into the Bountiful High Choir. Christopherson had achieved his greatest dream. He was now a member of the highest honor…a member of the Order of the Phoenix. An even greater honor then the Bountiful High Choir. From then on Christopherson would be known as Sir Christopherson von Walker of Bountiful West, the great conquer of Sir Smity Werven Man Jenson.

choices

every day we are faced with choices that we have to make.  some of these choices are simpler then others.  some require no thought at all.  we just make it and go without even thinking about it.  some choices require a little debate while others require long thought out processes.  sometimes when making a choice we seek guidance from others to help us make our decision.  the point is that everyday, whether we think about it or not, we are making life choices and life decisions. 

some of these choices probably don't make much difference one way or the other.  i really don't think it matters whether you choose to wear the blue shirt or the black one.  or what you choose to eat for breakfast, or what color you paint your toe nails.  even though each of these are choices that we make, they do not really alter anything in the grand scheme of things.  by painting your toenails orange you will not be doomed for life.  it is just one of those things that doesn't really matter.  on the other hand, there are choices that you make that can alter your life from that point on.  by that one simple choice you change the route your life is taking. for each choice that you make in life effects the next.

life is a chain reaction taking you day by day.  it is a chain reaction of choices.  each choice that you make is irrevocably connected to the next.  they are all connected in what we call life.  by making one decision you determine which one you will make next.  every choice leads to the next one.  every choice has a consequence that takes you to your next choice in life. therefore, one choice that you make can change your life forever.  one choice can alter where you are headed and what you are going to do. one choice can make all the difference. 

because of this, we have to be careful about the choices that we make and the choices that we don't make.  sometimes we need to seek guidance form others who have made similar decisions in there life.  we need to think about hem and where they are going to take us.  but at the same time, sometimes we just need to do.  

we can't spend every moment of our lives debating what to do. we can't worry about where life will take us that much.  sometimes we just need to go and do and not worry about where it will lead or what will come of it.  sometimes we just need to live.  we just need to trust that all will work out and that everything will be ok in the end.  we just need to move forward and not worry about what we have done in the past, but look forward to what we will do in the future. look forward to the choices that we still have to make.   

sometimes i wonder though....if i could go back and change one choice...would i?  and if so would it change where i am now?  and if it did would it be any better or would i be a different person then who i am right now?.....not that i would.  but sometimes i wonder where my life would have lead had i made a different choice somewhere along the way. 

What really matters....

i have been reading this book and in it the girl is getting married.  but the trick is that she has to choose between two different weddings. one is being planned by her mother and one is being planned by her future mother in law. neither one of them know that there is another wedding being planned. the wedding being planned by her mother-in-law in in new york. it is set at the plaza hotel with all the fixings of a fairy tale wedding. the gorgous dress, the orcrestra in the background, twinkling lights all aound, trees imported from swizterland, birds chirping above, flowers every where with rose petals falling from the celling, an emaculate cake that is eight teirs high with hand painted tulips, everything you would expect from a sleeping beauty wedding.  

the wedding being planned by her mother is in oxshoot england, her home town. for this wedding she is wearing her mothers dress. the reception is in the back yard with a canopy and twinkling strands of lights. there is a homemade cake by the neighber next door, the flowers are from the local gardener, the ceromony is in the local church, and then pictures by the cherry tree that was planted when she was born.  now the bride has to choose....does she go with her fairy tale wedding that is evrything you could have ever dreamed of or does she go with the wedding that her mother has always dreamed of for her only daughter, in her home town?......

while reading i started to think about what i would choose. would i want the fairy tale or the home town wedding? the big fancy dress or the one my mother wore when she got married? the big fancy designer cake or the one made by a neighber? the giltering dance hall with the live band and falling rose petals or the backyard canopy with the twinkling lights???? what would i want at my wedding? which one would i choose?

then i thought....does it really matter? does it really matter whether there where trees from switzerland or the flowers from the local gardener?...... just like all other girls i have thought about what i would want my wedding day to be like.  i would want it to be pretty and to be fun, but when all is said and done does it really matter who made the cake? at the end of the day would i care? what would i really want? what really matters? at the end of the day what am i living for? am i living for the fairy tale? or am i living for the home town?

at the end of the day what i am living for is the people.  they are what matters to me. the people that i care about. the people that i love. they are what counts. they are what matters in life.  at the end of the day, when all is said and done, it is the people in my life that i live for.  that being said, i would choose the wedding where the people i loved would be as well.  i would want to celebrate that day with all of those i care about and that care about me in return.  because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what dress i wore or who did my hair.  all that matters is celebrating life and celebrating love with all those that i love...... everything else fades away, but a family lasts forever.

School.....

well..today would be the first day back at school.  i am excited this year because it is my last year of classes.  then i just have one year of student teaching and i am done!! it will be great.  a little scary but great. 

this semester i have four classes and then an institute class.  13 credits all in all.  with these classes i am also going to be going to the elementary schools so many hours each week to help in the classrooms.  i am also going to be working about 30 hours a week, because one of the ladies in my office is going to be gone for a month or more.  i also have my calling in my ward and have meetings and activities to go to for that.  oh..and there is still omega as well.  so my semester is going to be pretty full.  this is what my schedule looks like...

Monday

elementary school from 8:30-10

work from 10:30-4

class from 4:35-7:05

tuesday

class 9:40-10:30

work 11-4

class 4:35-7:05

last lecture 8-9 or enrichment mtg 7:30~9

wednesday

elementary school 8:30-10

work 10:30-4

class 4:35-7:05

omega 7-whenever or enrichment 7-whenever

thursday 

class 9:40-10:30

work 11-4

friday 

work 8-11:30

class 11:50-2:50

and then anything else that happens to come along like football games, enrichment activities, service committee meetings, oh...and of course friends and family have to go in there somewhere.  needless to say i will be pretty busy. but i am sure it will be fun and crazy like always.  i wish everyone else luck with school or work or whatever is going on in your life this fall.  i hope you all enjoy it!

Way to long

i know...i know... it has been far to long since the last time i wrote anything.  today i have once again been reminded how much can go on at one time and how much can happen in a short amount of time.  things can change in a blink of an eye and half the time we don't even notice it.  

here is an example:

about ten minutes ago i was sitting in my office chair googling people for work,  (yes i was really looking people up on google for work)  at this same time i was jammin' out to music and listening to my boss telling me that she was leaving.  right then the fire alarm starts blaring right above my head.  in that one second i jumped up, smacked my knee on the desk and knocked my water bottle over.  also at that same second my boss jumped and dropped her bag and then proceeded to laugh at me because i had smacked my knee.  

with the fire alarm still blaring in my ear i quickly closed what i was working on and grab my purse ready to leave and walk out the door to the safety of the outside world.   me and my boss both scurry out our office door and down the hallway to the outside door.  then, since my building is under construction and it all blocked off by fences and wood coverings,  we have to go along the edge of the building until we can squeeze through a break in the fence to cross the sidewalk and get away from the building.  well.....as far away as across the sidewalk.  once there i plop down to the ground and prepare to wait it out by sleeping in the grass.  i lay back and close my eyes.  i quickly think to myself that this is not half bad.  i am laying in the shade and getting paid for it.  after about ten seconds i feel something on my arm.  i brush it aside but it  does not seem to go away.  a sit up and realize that maybe this is not the greatest place after all.  there crawling up me is a huge, and i do mean huge, gigantic spider.  now i don't mind spiders, but when they are that big and crawling on me, then i have a problem.  i flicked it away as fast as i could and then i watched it crawl to my boss and up onto her bag.  she also then flicked it away.  this whole time the fire alarm is still going off and we are all still waiting.  as of now i have decided that maybe i don't want to lay back down for fear of other things crawling on top of me.  after about a minute i do it any way and proceed to enjoy the light breeze that is blowing.  yeah, well...that only lasted about a minute before once again that stupid spider was back.  after trying to get rid of it again i figured i would just play games on my phone.  

but what do ya know.....just as i start playing we have the all clear to reenter the building and go back to work.  so i get up and say goodbye to my boss, who was leaving for the day, and make my way back in through the fenced off and boarded up tunnel to get back to my office.  

as you can tell, once i got back inside and realized that i was only going to be at work for about 15 minutes, i choose to write on here instead of doing actual work.  so there you go...i am noe back in my office typing once again and jamming out to music once again just like i was ten minutes ago....like  i said...a lot can happen and you don't even notice it.

and thats just what happened to me. that doesn't even account for what went on with everybody else.....

People

life has a funny way of surprising you in the most entertaining ways. i have learned that the best thing to do is just to live each day. and by this i don't just mean to wake up and go to work or school and then go home. i mean to turly live and experiance each and every day. to look at the worl around you and see what is there. to recognize the wonderful world tht we live in and to see what it and life has to offer. life is just better when you live it. when you actually live each day at that moment and aren't waiting for the next day to come. i have never thought "oh...i will be happy when school ends, or i will be happy when i get this, or i will be finally be happy when it is warm....i remeber that i was surprised when someone said this to me. i was thinking "what, you can't be happy today?" yes, some days i wish would pass by sooner, and some times are hard. but each day that is given to you is a gift. and you only get each day given to you once. however you choose to spend that day is how it will always be. you can't go back and change anything, you can't go back and live it again. you are given it once, and only once.

with this, you have to be the person to choose how to spend your day and who to spend it with. it occured to me recently that people are not around on earth forever. growing up, i think we always expect certain people to be around. you expect to see them at the next family thing, or the next birthday or wedding. some people you expect to see when you go to the store or when you walk into work. we all expect certain people to be in our lives everyday. we expect them to be around for everything we have decided that they are supposed to be around for. but , that is just it...we have decided what they are supposed to be around for, but we don't really know what they will be around for. it never occurs to us that one day they won't be there. that that person, or people, won't be at the birthday party, or on the train, or at the wedding. and when all of a sudden that person is not there, we are not quite sure what to do. we had always expected them to be there and when they are not we feel like something is wrong and we know someone is missing.

but i think the thing that we end up missing the most when someone passes is not the memories we already have, but the furture memories that we are now not going to have. when someone passes it finally hits us that that person is not going to be there for the birthday, the wedding, the christmas party, or even just everyday. that person is no longer going to be ther to be the one to give you a smile or wave. that person is no longer there to tease you or to laugh with you. and when a person passes away that is what hurts the most. knowing that they are no longer here on earth to make memories with you.

because of this, i have realized even more how important it is to live each and everyday. to live each and evryday to it's fullest extent. to look around the world and find things in it i had never noticed before. to take a walk down the road and see where i end up. to notice the beauty in a flower or the sky. but most importantly, to live my life with the people i love. to let them know that i love them and care for them. to make memories with today, because i don't know if they will be there to make them tomorrow. to turly love and to let myself be loved in return. i have come to beleive that that is the best way to live. to just live...

seven facts huh...

so i just realized that i was tagged by wendi and now have to do another post.  so here are seven interesting facts about myself.

1.  i absolutely do not like mushrooms or spinach.  they both just gross me out and i will not eat them. 

2.  when i run and jump i do it on my toes.  i can not run or jump flat footed.  it even takes all of my concentration to go up and down stairs flat footed.  i just do it all up on my toes.  i think this comes from years of dance.

3.  i have hit an island in the parking lot and taken out a fence in our driveway and gotten a citation for not having my lights on, but i have never gotten a ticket.  

4.  i have a weird love for the sensation of pain.  i know..crazy.  but it is true.  i like the feeling of it .. at first anyway and only when it is not horribly bad.  but i do like that feeling.  like when you pull out a piece of hair or pull off a scab..that kind of feeling. 

5.  i am the only child in my family who does not have a middle name.

6.  one thing that i absolutely love to do is watch the sun rise.  i love to watch the first rays of light come over the mountain and touch the valley or the waters edge if i am on a lake.  

7.  and last but not least...i love to be a kid.  i love to play in the sprinklers, play at a playground, build sandcastles on the beach, finger paint, draw in the driveway with chalk, and so forth.  i think i will always be a kid at heart.

6.  

sorry...i forget

so i realized that i have not posted anything for awhile.  i sort of forgot that i had a blog page.  i guess i am not really used to it yet. 

i lot has been going on in the last month.  school ended, which is a major plus.  and i passed all of my classes so i am extremely happy about that one. but that also means that sorority ended as well.  that one i am not so happy about.  i am now no longer an officer and that makes me sad.  i loved being one and serving those girls for the past year.  people always said that it was such a sacrifice of time and energy to be an officer.  but for me i never felt that way.  for me it was never a sacrifice because i loved doing the work.  i loved being involved and spending time with all of the other girls.  i will truly miss it. 

so now, i just have work left.  which is not half bad.  i am riding the train to work now and i actually like it.  i do have to leave about a half an hour earlier, but it it worth it not having to pay for gas.   and for the first time ever, i am taking a summer class.  according to ben, it is not really a class though because it is only two weeks long from 8:30-12:00.  it still counts though.  i figured that i could handle a two week class to get it out of the way this summer.  we will see how it turns out.  i might not ever be doing it again. 

Journal Writing

today in church someone mentioned journal writing in the lesson. it wasn't event he basic topic of the lesson, but it got me thinking. probaly because i do not write in mine very often. maybe once a month if i am lucky. i was thinking about the things that we write in our journals. about the stories that we tell in them about the thoughts that we have had.

i realized something. it is something that i have realized before, but i thought about it once again. every story we live through and write down is not our own. yes, we do all have our own experiances and things that we go through that make us who we are. but what turly makes it our own experiance is how we viewi what is going on. someone else can view that same event in a toal different way and come out thinking something diferent then you. but our experiances are not just ours. our lives are all intertwined with each others. everything that we do and what we experiance is shared with someone else. even if you don't recognize it, your life is made up of others. when you tell a story it usually involes other poeple. those people have that same story to tell to others as well. most of the things that we choose to do in our lives invlove other people. and therfore, what we do effects other people.

all of our lives are entertwined with each others. by being connected to the people around you, you are then connected to the world. for the person that you are connected to is connected to someone else, and they are connected to someone else as well, and so forth until we are all entertwined into one world.

but the thing that gets me the most is that we need to be connected to all of these people to survive. man was not ment to stand alone. man was not ment to live alone or to do everything by himself. that is way god granted adam a wife. he granted adam a partner to share life with. it is only by being connect to others that we turly live. we were all put on this earth together to teach each and to help each other stand through life. god never intended for man to try to survive on his own. no man ever could. it is only by living our lives with others that we turly learn to live.

our stories are not just our own. they are those who we live our lives with. they are what makes us all who we are.

Thinking...i know it is a surprise

well..the first thing that i was thinking about today was that i needed to finally create a blog for myself. i was in my technology class reading everybody elses pages and figure that i really should just make one of my own. i didn't think it was fair to look at and read everybodys when they couldn't look at or read one of mine. so wendi..this is for you. even though i am single and don't have an "and" in my heading i figured why not. i hope you enjoy it.

the next thing that i thought about today a lot was how much i need to do for school. i can not believe that there are only three more weeks of the semester left. it has gone by so fast and i can't believe how much i still need to do before it can end.

along with this i was thinking about my plan for life. about where i want to go and where i want to end up. i can not believe that i will graduate in two more years. then i will become the teacher with studetns of my own. it was exciting, yet incredably scary to think about. after i graduate i will hopefully be able to find a job here in the Salt Lake area. i want to be able to teach for a year, and then work on getting my masters in technology education while still teaching for the next two years after that. beyond that i really can't say that i have a plan. everything else i want to happen envoles other people. since i can not plan other peoples lives for them, this is as far as my own plan can really go.

on the drive home tonight i was thining about how things end everyday. each day that we live something ends. something is over. but, on the other hand, something new begins. each day is an end to yesterday and a beginning to today. each day is a new day. a day to live how you would choose. you can not change what happenend yesterday. you can not determine all that will happen tomorrow. all that you can do is live in the moment that you are in. i diceded that life is like a puzzle. you are putting pieces together in that puzzle every day. the thing is, you don't know what the puzzle will look like when it is finished. therfore, you just have to pick up the pieces around you and place them where you think they ought to go. along the way you will find that some of the pieces that you picked up will not fit at all. some will seem like they fit, but then they will fall out and no matter how hard you try, they just won't connect. you will also find that other pieces will just fall into where they belong, even if you didn't realize that it would. pieces are falling in and out of your puzzle everyday. each day the puzzle becomes clearer or more confusing. each day your puzzle is one step closer to being complete. one step closer to completing the picture. the picture that is you life. the picture that is who you are. the puzled is only finished when your life is comeplete. when it reflects who you are and who you have become from the life that you have lived. each day we decide what pieces to put into our puzzles. each day we are choosing who we want to become and where we want to be.