Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Most of you know that I am student teaching this year. I have been in the classroom since August and it has been very entertaining to say the least. I have loved certain days, liked most others, and only truly hated a few. Some of the things that make me like and love those days are students accomplishing their work, students listening the first time and not blurting out, students who struggle start to piece it together, and most of all hearing the things that they say.

If you ever really listen to kids you find that they say some of the darnedest things. Most of them are just weird, a lot of them are funny and make me smile, and some just down right make me laugh out load. Since I have gotten such a great laugh from the things my students tend to say I thought that i would share some of them with you so you could get a laugh as well. Just remember that they are all fifth graders and are just starting to become teenagers. Enjoy.

S: "Really Miss Walker, do I have to?"
Me: "Yes"
S: "Do I have to do it all Miss Walker?"
Me: "Yes"
S: "Holly Toledo Miss Walker! That's a lot."

S: "Miss Walker. I am mad at you."
Me: "Why?"
S: "Because I need to be mad at someone so I am picking you. ok"

S: Miss Walker, do you know CMP?
Me: Do I know what?
S: CMP. Do you know how to do it?
Me: What is CMP?
S: That thing where someone kisses someone else on the mouth a lot of times and pounds on there chest.
Me: I am not sure what you are talking about.
S: You know it Miss Walker. It is that thing you see people do in movies when someone is dead.
Me: Do you mean when someone has stopped breathing and someone else breaths into there mouth for them and pumps there heart by pushing on their chest?
S: I don't know. It always just looks like they are kissing.
Me: I think you mean CPR.
S: No, that's not it. It is CMP. Certified Mouthing and Punching, I am sure of it.


S1: Miss Walker, you're really good at art.
Me: Thank you
S2: You really are good Miss Walker
Me: Thank you to you as well
S1: You're really beautiful too
S2: Don't say things like that to the teacher.
S1: Why not. She is. You're skinny too Miss Walker. Have you seen yourself in a bikini?

S: Miss Walker do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don't.
S: Why not Miss Walker?
Me: I just don't have one.
S: But I thought all grown ups had boyfriends or girlfriends.
Me: Some do and some don't
S: Well didn't anybody want you?
Me: Not at the moment
S: You should go get a boyfriend.
Me: I will work on it.
S: Good. You need a boyfriend. Just make sure to check him out first ok?

Those are just some of the many conversations that you can have a with a fifth grader. There are also many more things that they would love to tell you. Some include how to dance, what their greatest talent is, and even how to quote someone else. And if you let them, they will even preform for you in class. So if you ever need something to make your day better, go talk to one and see what they will say. Most days what they have to say will just make you laugh.