Things that make it worth it...

Do you ever have those days where you wonder to yourself if you are absolutely crazy? those day where you are sure that you have gone insane and that the world is out to get you? Or even those days where you just wish that you didn't care so that you could give up and stop trying? Well, I have. In fact, I have been having a whole week or two full of those kinds of days.

Lets just say that there are some things in life that drive me mad. And not in the angry way, but in the "I think I have just lost my mind" kind of way. There are some things that go on that make me wonder if I can just run away and never return. Some of these things involve my students beating each other up (yes, they really do)my students shouting out across the room all day long (even when they get recess taken away for it) people lying directly to my face (especially when I know that they are, people never taking responsibility for there own actions and then blaming then on others, people not doing what they have promised to do countless times, people who just tend to make life harder then it needs to be, and people who butt into others life(even when they have been asked countless times just to leave you the heck alone). The list could go on for awhile, but that is not the point of this post. So, sorry for that, but I just needed to vent a little.

So, with all of these things going on for the past little while, I realized that i have not been a very nice person or a very happy one to be around. I have been tired and irritated most days. And I don't think that I was the best company to anyone. I realized that I don't like this person that I have become. I am also realizing that in order to be the happy Brittney again, that I need to look for the things that make it worth while. I need to focus on the things that make me laugh more and the things that make me frown less. Listed below are some of the things that have made it worth while just over the last few weeks.

1)My mom, who makes me laugh and who will laugh with me
2)My students who give me hugs when i leave early (even if they do drive me nuts)
3)The sun shining through my window in the mornings
4)one of my professors tell me that i am awesome at what I do (even if i don't believe her)
5)Not having to scrape my car as much
6)Today being March 1st, which means I am that much closer to graduating
7)Learning that my friends are happy (it makes me happy to know that they are)
8)My friends who will give me reasons to laugh, even if it is at myself
9)My sister who will not only let me complain to her, but who will also complain right back with me
10)The fact that it is still light when i get out of class at night now and i don't have to walk across campus in complete darkness.

Those are just some of the things that make it worthwhile for me not to run away or to give up. I am still learning that life always seems worse when you let the bad drag you down. But, it will always seem better when you let life lift you up instead. So, as you go through your next few days, weeks, or months, try to remember that life is worth it. Try to find what makes you smile and focus on it. For that is what will make it worth while for you to live it.

Husbands for Sale

At the school I am student teaching at there are three fifth grade teachers and myself. My site teacher has been married for awhile. One of the other teachers just got married in November, and then the last teacher and myself are single.

Since the beginning of the year my students have loved to ask me about boyfriends and if I had one. They would also ask me when I was going get one because they wanted me to bring him into the classroom like another student teacher did (her boyfriend came and proposed to her in her classroom with the students, needless to say, now my students want someone to come to their classroom and do the same thing). But, it has gotten even funnier and worse since the other teacher got married.

Now my class, as well as the other single teachers class, is trying to find us husbands. At first they started with the usual questions of if we had boyfriends. Then, in the last couple of weeks it has gone on to things such as this:

Students 1: "Miss Walker, do you have a boyfriend yet?"

Me: "No. I still don't have one."

New Student: "Well, I am sure you can buy a boyfriend. Or even better, you should just buy a husband."

Next student: "You can't buy a husband. Duh. You have to go catch one."

First student: "Oh, ok. Then you need to go fishing Miss Walker and catch yourself one."

Another student: "She doesn't need to go fishing. She just needs to marry my cousin."

Next student: "I have uncle you could marry. He is a construction worker."

New student: "Yeah. Marry the construction worker. then he could build you a house, but he has to propose to you here in the classroom like that other guy did."

Whole Class: "Yeah, that would be cool."

And my personal favorite conversation:

Student 1: "Miss Walker. Did you see the science fair judges?"
Me: "Yeah. The ones from the high school?"
Student 2: "Yeah. Did you check them out?"
Me: "Mo, I didn't. Why?"
Student 1: "Miss Walker. You should have checked them out. They were soooooo cute!"
Student 2: "Yeah, Miss Walker. You would have liked them."
Me: "I don't think so. They are a bit to young for me ladies."
Student 3: "how old are you Miss Walker?"
Me: "22"
Student 3: "Oh. I guess your right. A 22 year old with a high school student wouldn't work out too well huh?"
Me: "Nope. I don't think it would. And they are bit old for any of you."
Students: "Fine, but they were really cute."

These comments are not only going on in my room, but in the other teachers classroom as well. It makes me laugh every time that I hear them. I even heard one student in the hall ask another where they could find husbands for sale. The student didn't know , but thought that they should go look it up in the phone book. I told them to let me know where they were for sale as soon as they found out. We will see if they come up with an answer.

And as funny as it is, and as much as it makes me laugh more everyday, you have to love them for trying right?

What People Say

Do you ever sit and wonder what people say about you? Or wonder what they have said about you before or to other people? Or maybe you have just wondered what people really think of you and who you are. I know I have.

I usually start wondering these things for a few different reasons. One - someone else has come up to me and started saying things about another person that I know and then it makes me wonder what they say about me. Two - when someone I don't know or just met comes up and starts saying things like "it's so nice to finely meet you" or "so, your brittney", these makes me wonder what someone has told them, because they have obviously heard of me. And three - when someone comes up to me and says something that I have a hard time agreeing with or something that makes me think about the image I put off to others. The most recent one of these things being number three.

One time that this happened was when i was painting chairs with my mom. We had been sanding, taping, and painting for awhile. At the time, my mom was asking me how my day had gone the day before. I told her that it was fun. I had gone and done a huge service project with my ward the day before. We went and painted houses, garages, and cleaned up a bunch of yards. I told her that i had had a lot of fun doing the work with the people that I did it with. I told her that I had a really good time. The next thing she asked me was "do you ever have a bad time doing anything?" My first response to this was "yeah, of course I do", Then she said "really?" that made me think about it for a second. And in all honestly I really couldn't think of a time when I had a really bad time doing something that I choose to do. This question definitely made me think about myself and what others have noticed about me.

Another time that I had to take a moment to think about how people saw me was when I was talking with my bishop. I had gone to tithing settlement and I had spent I few moments talking to the ward clerks and then to the second counselor. Then the bishop called me in to the office to talk to him and make sure that everything was in order. He asked me about tithing and we took care of all of that stuff. Then he said, "you know, one of the reason that I really like you is that you are fearless" My response was "oh no, I would not say that I am fearless by an means." His response was "oh. I think that you are" My next response "no, I am not fearless, there are plenty of things that I am scared of." then he looked at me and said, "Brittney, I am willing to bet that there are very few things that you truly fear. And that my friend, would make you fearless." That would be a statement that I have thought about ever since he said it. It made me wonder how other people see me. It made me wonder what kind of image I portray to others. But it also made me wonder if it was true. It made me wonder what I truly fear. And I have to say that there are only a few things that I truly fear. Granted, these things are pretty big, a lot of stuff falls under the main categorizes. But, all in all, there are only a few things that truly frighten me.

There are many more times where i have taken a step back and wondered what people think of me. There have been many times when i have wondered what people have said about me and what they have really thought of me. All in all though, I try not to wonder what they think. I figure that I am living my life and if they have a problem with it, well, they can keep it to themselves, or they can tell me. Either way though, I think I am just going to keep on living it.

Flashback

Do you ever have those moments when you are suddenly reminded of something that happened long ago? Those moments when you are just going along in your life and minding your own business when you see something or hear something and are sent back to a totally different time in space? A time that you thought you had a passed and no longer existed? Well, I have. In fact, one of those moments happened today.

I had spent my day teaching my fifth graders. I taught about mean, median, and mode for math. Then for social studies we continued our work on Valley Forge. Now you think that teaching in the elementary school would be what caused the flashback. What, with all of the lunchroom scenes, art projects and just fifth graders in general. But, this would not be the case. My flashback was not caused by anything to do with the elementary school or the students that i teach there. No, my flashback happened when i came home and saw the envelope on the table with my name on it.

For you see, this envelope was no ordinary envelope. It was an envelope from Bountiful High School and it was addressed to me. Now, you have to remember that i graduated from this school about 5 years ago. So my first thought was why in the world is Bountiful High sending me a letter? My second thought was should have it really been sent to Chris since he just graduated in May. Then my third though was that it was for my 5 year reunion.

By this point i figureed that i should just open the letter and figure out what it was. Upon opening it i only found a small sheet of paper. it was about the size of 1/4 a regular sheet. On it it said "Burritos 100% OFF! That's Right, FREE". It also had a picture of a burrito on it. Needless to say i was a bit confused. Then i turned the paper over and was even more confused. This is what the back of the paper said. "There was a ring found at Bountiful High School. The name on the inside is Brittney Walker. If you know anything about this ring please call the office. Bountiful High School, Jill".

This would be where i had that flashback moment. For you see, i had lost my high school ring my senior year at Bountiful High. This ring was white gold with a ruby in it. And on the inside was name. I had momentary flashback to those high school days. Those days where my main focus was on choir and art and my only real classes where AP Lit and AP Math. Those days when i laughed my way through school and then spent the afternoons working at Hogi Yogi. Those days of high school. Then when i came back from that flashback, i just started to laugh.

First of all, i had lost this ring five years ago. Second, i couldn't figure out who would find it now. And third, i couldn't figure out why would they look me up and send me a letter about it. It just makes me laugh.

I guess the only left to do know though is to call them and find out about this ring. Who knows, it could actually be mine.

Traditions

It is that time of year again when everyone gathers together with friends or family for that special evening. They all come expecting certain things to happen and certain people to be there. We call these things traditions. And even though they happen at other times of the year as well, there seems to be an extensive amount that happen during this holiday time of Christmas and New Years.

As people who are hardwired to like routines and like things to be a certain way, we tend to love traditions. We love the familiarity of them and love the fact that we can predict what will happen at each event. We also love to reminisce about each event and what happened at the last one at the current one. And as funny as it sounds we love to get together with the same people and do the same thing year after year. We are people of routine. So, naturally, traditions are something that we love.

Over the last little while i was thinking about my family/friend traditions and i was trying to decide which ones were my favorite. I was also trying to decide what traditions i would like to do away with and what ones i would like to start either with my friends or with my own family one day.

The traditions that i love are the Whiting Family party with the egg sausage casserole, scones with honey butter, and fruit salad to eat. At this event we also have orange juice and hot chocolate to drink with marshmallows in it. All of the Whiting family gathers together and we eat food, then we play the white elephant game where it is always funny to see what people end up with (my family brings some highly entertaining things) and then we usually have some sort of family program. It is always a blast and even though we add one or two people to our group each year, we always do the same thing.

The next tradition that i like would be the Walker Family party. This party is held at my grandparents house and everyone gathers there. At this event we have chicken wings, garlic bread, salad, and shrimp for dinner. After dinner we all gather in the living room (where we all sit on top of each other and all over the floor to fit). This would be where we have our family program. We used to all dress up as the parts of the bible story for the birth of Christ. But since we have gotten older we know take turns reading different parts and singing songs. After the program we have the gift exchange from the grandparents. They always get the girls the same thing and the boys the same thing. We each have to wait until everyone has their gift before you can open it. Then we all open them at once to see what we got. From there we proceed to take the annual picture. For this picture all of the girls put on whatever they got and line up by age. Then the boys will do the same thing. I have this picture from almost every year of my life. It is fun to line them all up and see how we all have grown.

My other favorite tradition for this time of year is the annual party with my friends. Each year we get together and go to dinner. Then we usually hang out at someones house and watch Elf while drinking hot chocolate and laughing over old times. Sometimes we go to Temple Square as well. But that all depends on how cold it is and whether it is snowing or not.

Some of my other favorite traditions that go on throughout the year would be the family vacation to Bear Lake, friend trip to St. George, Friend trip to Lake Powell, Thanksgiving dinners, week at Snowbird, and especially birthday parties and dinners. All of them are fun and all of them happen every year.

There are other traditions that go on in my life and some of them i would not mind getting rid of while there are others that i would like to start. Each of us have our own traditions in our lives. Each of us have things that we like to do every year and we expect to do them every year.

So here is my question for you, answer if you would like to. My question is what are your favorite traditions? What are the things that you like to do every year?