Apparently I am quite odd. Now, I have been told that I am odd/weird throughout my life. Quite a few times actually. And the older I get the more I realize that it is true. It seems I just keep finding things out that make me weird or odd. Basically, they just make me plan different then normal people.
Some of the things that are "weird" about me are the following:
*I only had 3 wisdom teeth
*I woke up in the middle of surgery when under anesthesia
*Every time I sneeze I bite my tongue
*I have 4 root canals in my teeth instead of 3
*I have been told that I look and act like a cartoon when I teach
*More then one person has told me that I come with my own soundtrack
*The doctors can never find my blood pressure and tend to ask me if I'm dead
*I don't like chocolate. Not in any form
*I run and jump on my toes
*I honestly don't know my right and left (I blame this one on teaching dance)
*I am allergic to certain metals and therefore have to be careful with necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings and even glasses or I get weird funny rashes wherever the metal touches my skin
And that list is just a few of them. I am sure that all of you who know me can come up with many more. I am starting to think that there are not a lot of people like me in this world. I am also starting to think that that is a good thing. I don't think there should be a lot of people like me running around. Can you imagine what the world would be like then? Crazy...
Anyways, the most recent time that I was considered odd or weird was yesterday when I went to the eye doctor. Now, I already knew that my eyes were different then normal. I was already told that they were odd the last time I went to the eye doctor which was three years ago. But yesterday just confirmed it.
I went to the eye doctor because I want a new pair of glasses and I wanted to talk to them about contacts. I have had contacts before but they had started to really bug my eyes and I haven't worn them in about two years. So I wanted to talk to them and see what they thought or if they had any ideas on what to do to solve the problem. Upon going in I already knew that my prescription had changed. I mean, you know when you can't really see, or see all that well anyway. So I knew I needed a new one. Now, most people are at the eye doctor for about 40 mins, maybe an hour if you have to get your eyes dilated. I was there for over 2. Yes, 2 hours and 15 mins is how long I spent at the eye doctor yesterday. You might be wondering just what it was that they did while I was there. Well, let me tell you...
It first started with a bunch of questions about how my eyes have been and if I had noticed any changes. I proceed to tell the doc that my eyes have always burned a bit and that I knew my left eye had gotten worse. He then asked if I had ever had any drops to treat the burning thing and I said no. (this is when he first starts to think I'm weird because most people just don't live with burning eyes)After questions we went about finding the correct prescription for my eyes. We started with the right one, which was good since I knew that it hadn't changed much. So I covered up my left eye and then proceed to tell him what letters I could see. They wre a little blury so he changed some slides and asked the dreaded questions of "1 or 2", "3 or 4" and so forth until I could see clearly. That was the easy eye.
Next we of course did the left eye because nobody ever just likes to see out of one. I proceed to cover up my right eye and looked at the wall for the letters. I just started laughing. For you see, I couldn't even tell that there were letters there. All I saw was some white fuzzy board. The doctor then went up a size int he letters but I just continued laughing because I still couldn't see them. He went up another size and all I could see was a black fuzzy line. I still couldn't even tell that they were separate letters. He went up one more size and they sort of started to take shape but I still couldn't make out what they were. At this pint he starts laughing. He then looks at me and say "you really are blind aren't you." I just sat and stared at him.
Instead of trying to keep making the letters bigger until I could see them he decides to start switching the lenses around on the machine. It gets a little clearer and then he proceeds to ask the "1 or 2" questions again and I swear that half of those lens are the same. On this eye I went through 22 different lenses. Just imagine being me and sitting there with him flipping the lens back and forth asking "15 or 16, now 17 or 18" and so forth. I honestly didn't know that they had that many lenses they could go through. Anyway, we finally found some lenses that I could see the letters through and actually tell him what they were. He then uncovered my other eye and let me tell you, it is amazing how much you realize you can't see when you realize what you are supposed to be seeing. It is nice to be able to see the details. The doctor then wrote down my prescription. At this point I am thinking that I might just get out of there in the 40 mins. I should have known better.
As I am waiting for my prescription he starts to make that umm sound that doctors make when they are thinking. The one that usually means that they are thinking something is wrong with you. Just for the record, I don't like that sound. He then starts asking me questions about eye diseases and if my family has a history of them. He mentions about five, non of which I have any clue as to what they are. He figures that if I have never heard of them then I probably don't have any, but he wants to check and make sure. This is when I groan because I know whats coming...tests that involve bright lights shining into my eyes that I am sure make my eyesight worse.
Test 1: Follow the bright light he shines in the dark. You know the one where he turns off the lights, sits in front of you and shines a bright yellow light into your eyes and then starts to move it around and asks you to follow it with just your eyes and specifically tells you not to move your head. Just to let you know, I passed.
Test 2: Look all directions while he shines a light in your eyes. This would be the one where he gets really close with the same bright light still shining directly into your eyes. He then asks you to look up, look down, look to the left, look up and left, look down and left, look to the right, look up and right, look down and right. He does this first with the light shining in one eye and then the other so you get to do the whole look a direction thing twice. Now if you remember what I wrote above you can imagine why this test took some major thinking on my part. Left and right just aren't my strong points. However, I passed this one as well.
Test 3: Count the Fingers. This is the one without a light in your eyes. The one where they hold up both of there hands in front of you but outside your straight vision line. They then have you cover up one eye ask you to look straight ahead and tell them how many fingers they are holding up. Then they switch eyes. I passed this too.
At this point he decides that he wants to get a scan of my eyes to see if they are even. When you wear contact for years you eyes start to shape to them. So when you stop wearing them your eyes can still have ridges and groves in them made by the contacts. With this you can get what they call crones disease. This is when your cornea starts to form a peak in the middle and thin our around the edges. It can lead to blurry eyesight and blindness. This is also the time when he decides that he wants to bring in another doctor and get his opinion as well. So another doctor comes in and takes a look at my chart and my prescription and agrees that I should get my eyes scanned. So they both take me down through the hallways to a dark room.
Test 4: Topographical Map. Yes, I am talking about a map that shows the different types of elevation and crevasses in a terrain. Apparently they can make one of these maps of your eyes. They take you into a room with a computer and scanner. This is not your normal scanner. It has one of those places for you to put your chin on and a place to press your forehead against. Then they rotate a huge circle thing towards your face. On this circle there is a spot where there is about a one inch long and 1/2 inch wide slit with a bright blue light shining through it of course. As they move it closer to your face they watch on the computer screen as to where they need to locate it. Once the computer decided it is in place the light gets brighter and you have to blink really fast three times and then hold completely still with your eyes open as wide as you can. As you do this the circle thing rotates and scans your eye. It then transfers the information to the computer and makes the topographical map of your eye. They then proceed to scan the other eye. Now, doctor decided that he wanted to have his resident came and do the scan to get experience with it. I guess they don't scan peoples eyes all that often. Lucky me right. So the resident comes in and is trying to get the scanner into place to scan my left eye. In doing do he almost hits me in the face twice. He eventually gets it into place and proceeds to take the scan. They then print out the scans and show you the maps. They are actually pretty cool to look at and see all of the different levels of your eyes. And guess what, it turns out that my eyes are completely smooth and even all around. It also turns out that my eyes are shaped like footballs instead of golf balls, but I already knew this. They told me that at the last eye doctor appointment. But is was cool to see it on the scans compared to regular eyes. (I don't know if you are counting, but I have now had three people look at my eyes)
I will have you know that I almost got out of the next two tests. At this point they had decided that my eyes were ok and that I didn't have any major diseases. Then one doc proceeds to ask the other if he dilated my eyes. He told him no, because I had had then dilated the last time I was there and they usually only do it every other time you go. The first doc decides that they should dilate them anyway so they can look at the nerves. Apparently my eyes are really cool to look at. So that leads us to...
Test #5: Eye Pressure. This is the one where they put yellow die into your eyes. Then they turn off the lights and have you stick your chin in some contraption that then shines a bright blue light into your eyes. The light that you can actually feel the pressure with as they move it closer to your eye. And guess what, I passed this test too. Apparently my eyes have a very healthy eye pressure. Who knew?
Test #6: Dilation of the eyes. OK, really it is so they can test your nerves, but they have to dilate your eyes in order to do it. SO they put the drops in and wait a while for your pupils to grow all big and large so that they can then turn off the lights and look deep into your soul....OK, maybe they just look into your eyeball, but still, it feels like they look into your soul. Especially since they all stare at my eyes for what seems like an eternity. And then after the first guy is done, the second one gets to take a look as well. It is oh so much fun. And I passed this one too. All of my nerves are healthy and well.
And passing all of these tests is apparently what makes me an oddity. For you see, I am pretty blind. I really can not see anything clearly without glasses/contacts passed 6 inches in front of my face. Plus my eyes are shaped like footballs. Therefore the doctors always figure that I should have something wrong with them. They think I should have some disease or disfigurement or something, but I don't. All in all my eyes are perfectly healthy. They really have no reason for why I cannot see.
So, at the end of the day the conclusion is that my eyesight sucks, my eyes will probably always burn and be shaped like footballs, but they are healthy and well. Second conclusion is that I can never wear soft contacts (they will not stay on my eyes and they can't make them that strong), hard contacts will always cause me grief, and lasic might never fix anything. I guess that means I am stuck with glasses. Oh well, at least they make cute ones.
What really made me laugh the most though was when I told all of this to my mom she told me that they should just take pictures of my eyes and put me in a book. Which I guess is true since every time I go to the eye doctor they all come and look into my eyes. Maybe one day I sill suggest this to the doctor. Then maybe I could have a trip there that only lasts 40 min. One can only hope.
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